I. Apply foundation in a tone more perfect than the one you're born with,
doubt that there's anything beautiful in the term "natural"
blot your lips with the cherries you deprive yourself of
and wonder, "What good is difference when it's not appreciated?"

stop reading this.

II. Forget how you were born;
every freckle,
every beauty mark,
every uneven line etched into your face are nothing to be celebrated.
Deprecate yourself, you are unwound and beg this world to shape you in its eyes.

skip this line.

Society speaks subjectively of happiness, but fill your head with lies
that we're all pretty if we can keep up our disguise.
The weight of this world upon your shoulders,
alludes to being big as too much to handle.
Curl into everyone's palm as if you're so fragile,
they have to pinch the skin on your bones with the thumb and index finger.

stop.

III. Draw on the perfectly plump pout, filled with nothing but
expectations of everyone else.
Your beauty is not a privilege for anyone,
but judgment that has defined your worth.

skip.
Emprises that market upon your insecurities,
admire that solemn face in the mirror
as the reflection discourages you
at the acknowledgement of any impurities

Start.

How To Be Beautiful Lifelong


Admire the history that lives within the heartlines of your palms,
how strong you've grown, once cradled in your mother's arms.
Disregard where it is you've come from, but how much further you've journeyed forward.
I. Apply the sincerity in your best friend's voice when
                        she calls the time you've spent together, beautiful.
Do not doubt the splendor that comes from wisdom.

II. Every wrinkle you've earned,
as time gives back to you from lessons learned.
Blot your lips during the release of laughter
as saliva mists through the air,
your joy so vigorous
the ghosts residing in the graves
regret no more.


You are as you should be,
a composite of everything that gives you life
and grants you purpose.
Begging for this world to love you,
there is no fault in this desire.

They speak of happiness as if
it's only a potential-oriented concept,
Do not let your heart surround the gossip
or it's golden armor become bronzed.

III. Draw on the canvas of existence
in the brightest of hues, in the purest of love.
Filled with nothing, but expecations for yourself
say farewell to the darkness
open the curtains to light.

Your beauty is magnificent
as your name will be transcendent.
In each day we decide to be ourselves,
the poise presents itself.


—V.H.

Is it bad that change myself to conform with society?
That I’ve changed so much
I’ve forgotten the real me?
Sure, society is changing
But I want to be the REAL me NOW.
Not to sound bratty or whiney,
But it’s been long enough of people hiding behind false smiles
And fake laughter
Of people hiding behind a persona they make for themselves
We want to be who we want now.
When’s it going to happen?
When can I walk into school
Without fear of being bullied for what I wear
When can I walk the streets
Without fear of being *****
When can I walk into a room
Without judging stares
When will any of this happen?
Is it bad I’ve created a false image of myself?
That I fear being judged so much
That I changed everything about myself,
That I can’t remember what the real me looks like
I used to be a sweet, somewhat girly kid.
Now, I dress like a boy
So not to get others attention,
I intimidate the **** out of others
So not to get bullied for being small,
I don’t show feeling,
So not to be judged for being weak.
I just want to be the real me,
Just once in my life without fear
Of what others will say.

isolation
just me in my own world
creating perfectly impossible scenarios
it’s not loneliness
it’s getting lost in my own mind
and getting tangled in the beautiful mess that makes up who i am
my brain transforms into a galaxy of swirling blue and purple with the brightest moments shining like stars
i remove myself from reality and let my spirit drift off into the ideal universe i have created
that wonderful boy stares into my face so intensely i feel like it’s melting
our hands are intertwined
he draws me closer until there is no space between the two of us and we are breathing the same air
our chests rise and fall in unison
it’s as if our bodies are one like a cell and we never want to split
and our love is like the mitochondria because it’s power keeps us living and living on and on and…
isolation
i remove myself from the deepest parts of my mind and become familiar with my normal surroundings
reality doesn’t ****, but this perfect world i have created inside my mind makes me feel free from the polluted minds of people in this society
so i isolate
isolate myself from fake friends who hide behind a mask of smiles and empty conversations and only remove it when my back is turned so they can see where to shove the knife
isolate myself from the boy who i’m madly in love with, but had broken me because “it wasn’t me it was him” and now i’m just another passing face in the hallway
isolate myself from the men who now see me as fresh meat and my personality and interests and who i am are just the appetizer and all they want is to peel off the wrapper and devour the main course just to throw away the leftovers
sometimes i just need to escape
I’m not lonely I’m a dreamer
and to dream you need
isolation

Exhausted isn't the correct word, as it's more of mind and soul. I bounced to many reality checks, it must've taken a toll.

I couldn't keep on trudging through dreams, while sitting before the hallows. Wasting wishes on nonsense things, while they leave me at the gallows.

I've hung my head in defeat, so many times before. But I'm at that twisted point in life, where I can't take much more.

Shadows follow me where I may go, voices so sinister and wicked. We ***** our fingers on spinning wheels, ignoring what was long ago predicted.

Backwards bones of forgotten men, lay in disarray. All because life's a *****, and she wants to make you pay.

If you died tomorrow
What would you want them all to know?

That you loved having to conform?
That you appreciated the need to be the same?
That you were grateful for the chance to feel self conscious about your body?

No

You would tell them that you hated them
Their words
Both said
And unsaid
You hated their eyes
Looking
Judging
Never understanding

You would tell them that you found your place on earth
That you found your heaven
A place where love was real
Where friends laughed
Where people mattered
Not for clothes, hair, status, or money
But for the sole sake of being people

You would tell them that you were happy
And they still found a way to ruin it
And you hate them for it

One cut
Two cut
Three cuts more
No more Ruby no more.
Four cuts
Five Cuts
Can’t let it go,
Can’t stop it.
I love the rush
The release from my chains
That have been choking me.
This obsession,
With societies idea of
“Perfection?”
It’s killing me.
Your obsession of me,
it’s merely a fascination of the sick
And twisted.
Want to see more?
Come here.
I’ll show you darling.
You start here you go there.
You feel nothing but the knife.
Sweet silver against the white.
******* torture.
Oh I see.
Now you’re scared of me.
But my pet.
I’ll just laugh in your face.
Because you see:
YOU did this to me.
I’d like white roses for my funeral.