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i hate being sober when you're not around
sometimes I question my sobriety
even in the absence
of such distant memories
were they real
or just nightmares and daydreams

now I'm turning 20
and you're not here
i hate being sober
i know on my birthday
I'll just be invisible to you
i hate being sober
i want to turn back time
i hate being sober
i want to be able to see the warning sign
the sign i missed
it was red
like the blood i would bleed for you
but yet we move
i thrive without you
somehow i manage

still, i must confess
i miss you
Johnnyqu33r Feb 2022
I don't feel the way I had imagined
I would feel by the time I had gotten here
Paper scraps littering a lengthy path
An ivory album half filled to the gills
Most pages just blips and blackouts
A garden of blooming disappointments

I hyped up the experience too much
Everything feels so terribly lack luster
Now I'm almost always half asleep
And the days feel like I pressed repeat

I don't feel the way I had imagined
Though times have been much worse
And I'm alright with seeing the sunrise
The boredom is better than binging
Waking in such a painful panic
But I've kept the promise this time
ranveer joshua Nov 2021
Though the loneliness sets in, among the crowds,
Here, within themselves, they find their solace;
Euphoric events have now lost their appeal;

Mindfulness is the key to rest, they recite;
Exaggerated were their extravagant emotions on the dance floor,
Losing themselves in self discovery;
Over-sensationalized was the persona,
Diving into the depth of purple elixirs;
Rave, rave, rave,
As the sun replaces the strobelights,
Melancholy rises with her rays,
And suddenly, life seems meaningless;
The melodrama,
It strikes;
Cleaning up the champagne glasses, after the catastrophe
OpenWorldView Nov 2021
so many grand plans,
laid out in perfect detail.
life is sobering.
tayo Sep 2021
Now he hangs, silently brooding/
by his leather strap/
on a nail, against muddy wall/
gone to rust/
The silence, deafening/
swings no longer in ecstatic delight/
the end of the show/party.
Ellie Sutton Sep 2021
Waking tired, but not sedated
And feeling calm, not agitated
Alarm's a gentle wake up call
And not a galling mental brawl

No regrets from the night before
No blackout I need to explore
Safe and sound and in control
The contents of my bag still whole

Hearing the birds, but not cursing
No pounding head in need of nursing
Seeing the sun, not trying to hide
But flinging the curtains open wide

Washing my hair without spacing
A steady heart, not one that's racing
Brushing my teeth without gagging
Getting ready, my feet not dragging

Pouring cereal into a bowl
Feeding my body and my soul
Fruit and juice pass through my lips
No cold pizza and leftover chips

Getting out the house with ease
Not scrambling round to find my keys
Leaving early, not running late
My brain able to operate
27 days sober and woke up feeling super positive. Had to write about it, to remind myself on the days I might feel less so :)
WickedHope Aug 2021
You wouldnt like me when I'm drunk
Or perhaps you'd like me too much

Push pins sting
As they slide into my skin
But after long enough
They go numb
Can hardly notice the blood anymore
Second
Third
Fourth skins are shed
Leaving a raw innocence in it's place
Uninhibited by restraints
Such as logic
Or forethought
Blinders on too tight
Choking out anything that would be
Scandalous in daylight
A deafening scream
That's part siren song
Vice grip fingers
Holding on for too long
The Devil's wife has come to dance
Please walk away
Or I promise we'll both hate me sober
You always wanted me to get drunk...
But then got angry when I went home with your friends
Gabriel Aug 2021
Toss a coin in an old well
ย ย for a wish to have a maiden so fair,
into the abyss I succumb and dwell
ย ย to take back my love, my lost pair.

How long I have searched for you,
ย ย in cities of different lights,
only to find out that if love is true
ย ย  it will come to you in sparkly eyes.

She's an alarm clock to my sleepy soul,
ย ย  the lullaby to my wakeful heart,
a lover who stands her ground to
ย ย watch you grow,
and a woman that loves all your pieces of art.

Mahal,
One more chance
Please come back
Gabriel Jul 2021
When you drown in
an endless ocean of whisky,
you'll miss the taste of life's waters
  as your mind floats above the
ravaging tide of addiction
  and you constantly begging
for the flow to calm

You'll realize that the slowest of recovery
   is better than the fastest one who can chug


Someone out there is either dying for alcohol
or dying from an alcohol addiction,

I won't judge you
on what your heart is looking for
but the drink that's been on your hand
for too long
ain't Jesus in a bottle

It will pass.
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