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OpenWorldView Nov 2021
so many grand plans,
laid out in perfect detail.
life is sobering.
tayo Sep 2021
Now he hangs, silently brooding/
by his leather strap/
on a nail, against muddy wall/
gone to rust/
The silence, deafening/
swings no longer in ecstatic delight/
the end of the show/party.
Ellie Sutton Sep 2021
Waking tired, but not sedated
And feeling calm, not agitated
Alarm's a gentle wake up call
And not a galling mental brawl

No regrets from the night before
No blackout I need to explore
Safe and sound and in control
The contents of my bag still whole

Hearing the birds, but not cursing
No pounding head in need of nursing
Seeing the sun, not trying to hide
But flinging the curtains open wide

Washing my hair without spacing
A steady heart, not one that's racing
Brushing my teeth without gagging
Getting ready, my feet not dragging

Pouring cereal into a bowl
Feeding my body and my soul
Fruit and juice pass through my lips
No cold pizza and leftover chips

Getting out the house with ease
Not scrambling round to find my keys
Leaving early, not running late
My brain able to operate
27 days sober and woke up feeling super positive. Had to write about it, to remind myself on the days I might feel less so :)
WickedHope Aug 2021
You wouldnt like me when I'm drunk
Or perhaps you'd like me too much

Push pins sting
As they slide into my skin
But after long enough
They go numb
Can hardly notice the blood anymore
Second
Third
Fourth skins are shed
Leaving a raw innocence in it's place
Uninhibited by restraints
Such as logic
Or forethought
Blinders on too tight
Choking out anything that would be
Scandalous in daylight
A deafening scream
That's part siren song
Vice grip fingers
Holding on for too long
The Devil's wife has come to dance
Please walk away
Or I promise we'll both hate me sober
You always wanted me to get drunk...
But then got angry when I went home with your friends
Gabriel Aug 2021
Toss a coin in an old well
  for a wish to have a maiden so fair,
into the abyss I succumb and dwell
  to take back my love, my lost pair.

How long I have searched for you,
  in cities of different lights,
only to find out that if love is true
   it will come to you in sparkly eyes.

She's an alarm clock to my sleepy soul,
   the lullaby to my wakeful heart,
a lover who stands her ground to
  watch you grow,
and a woman that loves all your pieces of art.

Mahal,
One more chance
Please come back
Gabriel Jul 2021
When you drown in
an endless ocean of whisky,
you'll miss the taste of life's waters
  as your mind floats above the
ravaging tide of addiction
  and you constantly begging
for the flow to calm

You'll realize that the slowest of recovery
   is better than the fastest one who can chug


Someone out there is either dying for alcohol
or dying from an alcohol addiction,

I won't judge you
on what your heart is looking for
but the drink that's been on your hand
for too long
ain't Jesus in a bottle

It will pass.
Gabriel Jul 2021
How desperate we are
to maintain our habits,
   we often trade parts of ourselves
just to feel that rush
whenever we sober up
and latch on to that feeling
up to the very end.

The other lung
for a pack of cigarettes,
that spare kidney
for case of beer
and the worst one
trading a trusted friend
for a gram,
Alas at the end of the day
no matter how much earthly treasure you possess in this world of trades,
  you can never bargain the time
that is lost
and another chance for everything
  to change
Happy 1 month sober to me
Gabriel Jul 2021
Oh how people judge me so fast
when they knew
that I went to hell and back.
    Scent of burning rubber,
a shirt that's full of ash                       and the flames that light up my cigarette
   spoke the tales of me
going to hell and came back.

People fear what they can not fathom
and belittled a journey that I used to seek,
since they only lived a life
of *** and ***
a life so empty,
a life that's only to satisfy their lust and greed.

As I almost taste the hope that I've been craving,
I smiled with broken teeth and
a broken spine from carrying
all of  the burden on my bag.
" God, bless my new beginnings,
I thank you for guiding me through the gates of hell
and
never wanting me
to go back."
Sober
Amanda May 2021
I reminisce a simpler time.
I listen to Lana Del Rey past midnight as if it's 2013 again,
pretending her graphic imagery is my actual life
while I search for my exes on google since they don't use Facebook,
wondering what ever became of them.
Is my high school sweetheart happy he got married and had a family with someone that wasn't me?
Did my college boyfriend ever snap out of his depression and regret breaking up with me in the middle of the night at his Boston apartment leaving me to wander the streets aimlessly until the sun rose above the city skyline?
As much as I crave answers, unfortunately my google trail runs cold.
If I had blinked twice, would my life had turned out that differently?
And if it had, would I even want to be me?
A little ramble since life is hard and it feels like nothing has changed and yet everything has.
Johnnyqu33r May 2021
I've gotten too old for this angst
Paint on my smile alongside
My contour and eyelashes
My pain is a personal serving

I'd like to think time served here
Means something for later on
When I collapse in my grand finale
Curtains close and the symphony stops

You have no idea the lengths I go
To keep this silly old show on the road
Pointless battles on bathroom floors
The shadows kept behind closed doors

But, I've gotten too old for this angst
So I stay grateful and wide awake
Never biting the hand that feeds
Wiping crumbs and dirt from my knees
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