my whole life
i spent searching for you
for a love that would save my life
for someone to save me
from myself
from my pain
from my sorrorw
now I realize the love has been there for me all along
the love within myself
I realized I was always waiting for someone else
to give me permission to allow me
to live the life that
I want to live
the only permission that I need is my own
and what I realized was
that my greatest fear came true
but not in a bad way
I was always so afraid of being all alone
without friends or family
and I am
and eventhough it is hard sometimes
it is not as scary as I thought
its actually a blessing
to learn who I am
to learn how to heal myself
how to start accepting myself
loving myself and listening to myself
and my wants and my needs first
before anyone else's
to learn to proritize myself
many people when they are dying say
I wish I would've listened to myself more
and lived the life of my own choosing
I think this should be the goal before anything else
for in this body
we only live once
so the more I listen
the more I see
that life can be so beautiful
in its simplicity
in the present moments
of  a slower life.

in my dreams, I fall upon the altar
time and time again, the dagger
piercing my heart, for you to witness me

I wait (selfishly)
For my sunflowers to grow.
After a long winter,
watching sunlight
dappled on dancing leaves
that once shuddered to the beat
of (Wind, Rain, Perpetuity)
Nature
in motion.
I spy
(patiently)
at the sprouts and seedlings,
Willing them-
Asking for the sixteenth time
From the back seat
(my couch)
Are we there yet?
Taking offence at the
steady dripping cadence of time,
Forgetting the lessons
I buried in the early spring.

Two sapling oaks, grow side by side, in the soft silt savanna swamp
The sun awoke, and shadows hide, their roots begin to stomp
The oaks move the earth, and stretch the sky, as they yearn towards each other’s touch
With their growing girth, and branches high,
Purposefully extend, to feel each other’s clutch

They grow, slow, and methodically
Taking their time, placing each leaf in the sun.
They reach, each other hydrologically
Sharing the wealth beneath the ground as one.

As decades turn into centuries, an exhaustive passing of time
The mighty oaks are living free, in the middle of their prime
Yet, still they yearn, for one another touch
To have their bristle branches brush in the warm wind as such

Though… a century more may need to pass.
For the old oak trees to touch
Patiently waiting in the soft silt savanna grass
The long time doesn’t seem so much

When it's blurry,
Keep it steady.

Take a deep breath,
and take is easy.

Hold my hand,
and let's move slowly,

One step at a time,
'til we can see it clearly.

There's no need to hurry,
we won't go blindly,
but together,
We'll reach our destiny.

Slow down, take a minute, a moment, or a day.
Ask yourself, are you happy enough? are you enjoying it enough?
There will come a voice from within, you will have your answers.
It isn't about who's doing it first or better or both.
It is about, are you following up closely with your journey?
How is it gonna matter anyway if it went too fast?
You were busy being too perfect and lost the touch with purpose.
Sit, breathe and live, let humans be humans.
Machines are many to work mindlessly.
Embrace what comes and what does not.
You will live, anyways, but are you living a life worth living?
So, slow down, take a minute, a moment, or a day.
And ask yourself again.