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everything ached so bad
and i was so heavy
that i felt that if i stepped down to hard,
my kneees would break
and i would melt
into a puddle of unloved and scarred.

ny chest is achey and tight and cold
but my throat is warm and constricting
around my pleas for help.

what words do come out
are angry and emotional
when i cried it was mostly out of deperation.
Just Melz Aug 2014
You'd be surprised
        How much
               Your touch
                    
*Means to Me
Beads of sweat roll down my forehead as my fingers fly all over the keyboard
There's not much time, I need to get it done, I need this to be perfect
It's my saving grace for my lousy performance through high school
It's the leap that will take me to the next level

How's my grammar? Did I spell these words correctly?
Will they finish reading it with a lasting impression?
Am I thought-provoking? Too serious? Too unprofessional?
These questions only continue to clog my mind

I handed the type-written output over
And ask the guidance counselor if I'll do fine
She nods and fills my head with reassuring words
I swallowed them down and stiffly said 'thanks'

The car ride home summoned a couple of daydreams
I pictured myself getting into the honoree list
And making my parents' hearts swell with pride
But let's be real: Am I even going to make it?

Here I sit in front of the laptop again, fingers ready
To explore a wide range of prestigious universities
Maybe they'll require me to write an essay again
I swear on everything I'll write them better than the last
I passed the application form for this high-standard university, which required me to write an essay. I'm frankly scared as hell of how the admissions officers will react to my work.
Amanda Aug 2014
I love kissing your lips
until an array of rosy pale bliss
shines along your ashy cheeks
breathes a sigh of relief.
Do you have any idea
What you have done to me?
Will you ever understand
That I'm no longer weak?

I'm the one you tossed aside
The one you didn't have time for
I needed help, but you were busy
How many times had this happened before?

You weren't the one I thought you were
And that makes a person change
I'm not the naive girl you knew
So stop treating me that way.

You don't make me cry or frown anymore
Frankly, I don't care
So stop getting all upset when we talk!
I'm fine, I solemnly swear!

But I am one to break promises
That's something I learned from you
No one is honest, no not one
But you don't have a clue.
Millie Conway Aug 2014
i don't love my job
i don't love my studies
i don't love my town
i don't love my relationships
i don't love myself

i am so ******* done with not feeling love
all i feel is sad
heart cripplingly sad

i don't want to feel nothing any more
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