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everything ached so bad
and i was so heavy
that i felt that if i stepped down to hard,
my kneees would break
and i would melt
into a puddle of unloved and scarred.

ny chest is achey and tight and cold
but my throat is warm and constricting
around my pleas for help.

what words do come out
are angry and emotional
when i cried it was mostly out of deperation.
my heart aches
for the warm embrace
of pretty
angry words from my sheep skinned priest:
"you're nothing but a useless *** toy."
"you're such a *****."
"no one will ever love someone like you."
The man of faith casts stones at my broken catherdral.
My holy water has run dry,
there will be no more baptisim here,
or renewal,
only rapid decay
and broken glass.
about an abusive relationship.
you deserve happiness, so i left
nervous eyes will
catch fluttering hearts
I wish i could tell you what lonliness is
but i've been inside for days
I haven't left my house
I have no one to see
and nowhere to go,
I am at a loss for words.
So think of it as
methodical waves,
lapping at the earths edge,
except the ocean,
is brimming with life,
and i am not.
i really haven't left my house in days
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