Revised.

“If I could go back and do it all different" she whispered while her voice began to shake "would anything have changed or would you still have left?”

He sighed and said "Things happen. Tides change, people transform, feelings manifest." He looked her in the eyes and wiped the tear falling down her cheek and continued "Whether by the hand of God or your own. We were never meant to last. I wasn't what you needed and you're not what I need either. I want you, oh god how I want you, but the world stops for no one and we need to move onto bigger and better things."

The night settles around me as I make my way down the winding path that leads away from the old iron gates. I let my mind wander as my body carries me forward to the spot I’ve been so many times before. There’s a heavy weight on my shoulders and I bite my lip against the pain that threatens to tear me apart. How many nights have I spent here since you left?

The wind gently ruffles my hair and a faint smile crosses my lips. I breath in the cool air and feel it soothe my thoughts. This isn’t why I’ve come here tonight.

My legs come to a stop and I take in my surroundings. The moon bathes the area in a pale light and the willow trees sway gently in the breeze. There’s a sense of calm that envelops me whenever I come here and I feel it now, wrapping me in a sphere of tranquility. I sink to the ground and lean against the stone the way I have for years now.

The flowers that I left last week are starting to wither, the edges of the once brilliant red petals curling in on themselves. I let my fingers brush against them and rest my cheek against the chilled marble. I remember the first time I came here. My mind was spiraling into insanity. I’d gone running down the path in the darkness, feeling as if I were fighting to stay alive. The tears that blurred my vision had my make up streaking my face like war paint. I’d collapsed in the spot I am now, throwing myself into the dirt and letting the sobs rack my body. I stayed there like that, reveling in the pain and anguish I felt until dawn brought the light and unwanted help. I felt so betrayed when you left.

I squeeze my eyes shut, pushing the painful memory from my thoughts and shake myself. I clear my throat nervously and stare down at my hands.

“Hey baby, it’s me again.” I say quietly into the silence.

“I’ve been keeping myself busy like you wanted, I even got a job.” I giggle and glance up.

“It’s not much of a job, but it’s something. And I…” I take a deep breath and steel myself against the wave of emotion that washes over me.

“I met someone.” There. I said it.

“He’s a really nice guy, baby. He asked if I wanted to go out sometime and I told him I’d think about it. I was going to tell him no, but then I realized something.” I blink away the tears that I can’t hold back any longer and struggle to keep my voice even.

“I realized I want to be remembered by more than just a tombstone.” I choke on my words and dig my nails into the pad of my hand. I try to get a hold over myself and smile weakly. You always hated it when I cried.

“I’ll always love you baby, but I have to move on. And I know you’ve been telling me that for months now… I just wasn’t listening. I miss you so much…” I wipe my tears from my face and swallow the sob that tried to escape my throat.

I climb to my feet and rest a hand on top of the stone that stands in your memory. I know I can’t hold myself here forever… You wouldn’t want me to anyway. I lift my hand to my lips then press a kiss to your grave.

“I love you. Forever and always.” I whisper and turn away. As I begin the walk back through the cemetery I take in all the markers of those who’ve come and gone. How many of them were taken away too soon? Or left on their own?

I reach the gates and cast one look back to where you lay and I see the light shining on your flowers. Only instead of withered and dying, they’re as fresh as they day I left them. I bite my lip and smile, looking down and laughing. I blow one final kiss and walk away with the memories that will last forever and always.

five.
five days ago you came over. we broke up two months ago and we hadn't kissed since, but then we were wrestling and you pinned me and we paused for what seemed like forever until you kissed me. we kissed like we were making up for lost time, until we went upstairs to lay in bed together. i wrapped myself around you, hand in hand and head on chest and heart, mine, in your hands. happiness flowed through my veins.
four.
four days ago, i show up at 12:30. you're drunk. you barely say hello. i help you to the couch, you fall off, i help you back onto the couch. you're covering your eyes, does the light hurt your eyes? here, drink this water. i got you a straw. drink it all up! you'll thank me tomorrow. you want to go to bed? i stop you from falling down the stairs and tuck you in. i come back ten minutes later and she's trying to crawl into bed with you, i tell her to leave. i ask if it's okay for me to get in bed with you. i have 8 inches on the wrong side of the bed, but that night, i was the big spoon, and we slept. my arm over your waist and my heart, again, in your hands. we wake up, it's valentine's day. good morning, how are you feeling? i rub your back and you bury your face in my neck. you tell me you have to work till 8. i hurry home from the mall before 8 and almost decide to visit you at work. i change my mind. you text me at 9, they made you stay late. your parents wouldn't let you go out. i cry, but it's okay. i understand.
three.
three days ago, you apologize for not treating me better and thank me for putting up with you. you promise to be better in the future. i start crying because i feel like you're not trying. we talk on the phone for three hours, all is forgiven. i spend half an hour telling you cheesy pick-up lines. we say goodnight at 1:45am.
two.
you promised me we would hang out, but it started snowing and your parents wouldnt let you. okay, but if you break another promise i'll be mad. i cry, but it's okay. goodnight, i love you too
one.
yesterday, you asked me to hang out at 1 o'clock. i want you to plan it, but i eventually give in and say lets go ice skating. you come over at 1, we watch mean girls and hold hands. then we go skating. "hey, is it okay if i go to winter formal with this girl, just as friends?" no, if you want me back you have to act like it. "okay, i'll tell her i can't go" okay.

one.
yesterday, you hung out with her until 12:30, and then drove straight from lunch with her to my house. you let something slip and i made you show me your phone. i start yelling at you. i continue yelling at you. don't touch me. i'll block your number right now, don't even worry about it.
two.
two days ago you casually told your church friends about "doing stuff" with her on valentine's day.
three.
three days ago we talked on the phone for three hours. we hang up at 1:45am, you text her at 1:47. "are you up?" yes, she's awake. "love ya" "i meant what i said. i care about you." 2:06 and you go to bed.
four.
four days ago was valentine's day. you said "i was so confused when i woke up next to her. it was so weird" you told me you worked till 8. you worked till 7, stopped by her house for two hours, went home at 9. i guess "basically dating" doesn't include on valentine's day.
five.
yesterday i made you show me your phone, and this is the conversation you had about five days ago. "why did you go over to Eva's house on friday?"  
"she was upset and i had nothing better to do."  
"why did you kiss her?"  
"i didn't, she kissed me and i just went with it."
"why were you hanging with her?"
"i don't know. trust me i would've rather been with you."

zero.
today i found out that after eight months, you told her you never loved me. i guess you really never loved me.