We house intimate thoughts built upon contrasting poles. Echos of raging laughter; scratching against crystalline memories. Halted ache. Stagnant sorrow. I lay awake. The dimensions of my head sinks into the pillow like a solvent. Dissolving. A chemical combustion. As time lapses depression becomes me. Self-implicated torture. We negate apologies for a decadent virtue.

Herein, laying dormant,
    veils of reposed
      secrecy 'neath
       foamy seascapes'
              frenetic passages,
languishing below
   sunken treasures'
     false facades of
        reticently rolling
            shrouded bluffs,
 shaded of darkly impetuous
        hued blood in
          unceremoniously
             bound convolutions,
a million ancient
     undisclosed shadows hidden,
     notwithstanding combative
        rumblings of death's
         unwelcome sycophancy,
depths of centuries'
         old unparalleled stories,
 whence hush-hush
       undulatory influx
          of defiant upsurges
            and turbulence reside,
     that of which only the
          winds of indiscretion,
                 clandestine spirits
                      & gods could surmise


*...as  privileged moons watch over amaranthine skeletons

this primal feeling
not real enough to be known
not true enough to be tangible
yet

here lies the game i play
once every heartbreak
only i know

Tiptoe... out of my room,
Tiptoe... down the hall,
Tiptoe... down the stairs,
Tiptoe... outside,
Tiptoe... under the streetlight,
Tiptoe... into your arms.

Two lovers meet
One day, in secrecy

Hearts warm as a pillow
of makhmal

The lover says to his love
“You are a pearl buried in the
ruins of the world
People come and go
they watch
But they cannot smell the kastoori
They laugh, eat, and joke with you
But they don’t see your heart”

The mirror slips from her hand
It falls down
She cries and with shivering hand
She says
Tear apart the wall
You’ll not need any windows anymore



makhmal: velvety leaves
kastoori: musk

Elephant seals
gross and flabby
ignorant of protocol
ponderously scratch.

Uniformed unicorns
importune
tame peacocks
wearing pink petticoats.

Fluted columns fade
at twilight
into the secrecy
of a passing thought.

Toy soldiers
on parade
fragile, glittering
lost.

Complex or not
I always come out on top.

The love you hold in
So moldy from years of sitting
Unattended
Stuck in a cabinet of
Miscellaneous memories
Has been dug out by me.

Now kindergarten has regurgitated
Feelings of jealousy you grip
Tightly
In secrecy.

What is the game
In befriending me?

It's not going to be
The way you dream it to be.

Because now?
He sleeps with me.

In our own little world
We've dreamed about our future
We've hoped for brighter days
We've shared our plans
And we swore to stay
At times we wished to be free
To cast away from these rules

Things would have been easier if it would just go according to our plans

But I don't regret
These hidden moments
The intimacy
These unfathomable emotion

now I have another thing to keep
A secret
Just
You
Our hearts
And
Me

I wish I could just stay there