I won't change so you can love me
Because I know who I am
I won't search for you everywhere
Because I know you won't be there

I won't try to force your eyes to crave me
Because I have felt that before
I won't cry if you don't love me
I'll cry cause I've always loved you more

I won't even chase you in your dreams
Because I think you've had enough
I wouldn't tell you what I feel for you
Because I know you'd reply No

I won't keep trying to impress you
Because I know I can't impress
You'll never look at me like I want you to
I know you better than yourself

And if you ever feel something towards me
I am sure that you won't tell
You'll let me go in my own way
Thinking that I knew you so well.

For the past two hours
this Mac has hypnotised
my gaze to its white screen
and every website has
sentries at the door -
Username ? Password ?
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When did we become so
chary one of another ?  Were
folks so paranoid in the pre-
digital age when existence
had not been magicked into
noughts and ones in Silicon
Valley?  It did not seem so.

(c) C J Heyworth July 2014

go ahead and take my voice for truth
lighthearted fantasies of what could be
scathe or vision with the empty touch of honesty
reaching out through emotion and words alone
never feeling so much of what we'd like to know is wanted

impossible to deny the interpretation
raw with passionate dissonance
and it is sought without moving
stagnant with patience
a belief that something more awaits if taken, the leap

and we speak in the night together, alone
we seek each other out time and time again
but logic has no home here
mired with a false fate but never empty with hope
something we see inside ourselves and each other
agonizing lust and passion creeping through the cold
trying to find a fire for the spark to ignite every intention
and the heart chokes on the meanings of it all

instead we settle to constantly move together
seething motivation through desire
the fear of regret thick in the blood
the heart pumps harder, quicker, hotter
treading on, constantly seeking, hearing, knowing

coloring empty pages of a book neither of us have read
with a sincerity we have no privilege to own yet
and our conversations flow like a stream of heart and mind
carrying us further past the point of no return

the waterfall echoing in the distance with raw reality
exuded from nowhere we expect to see ourselves
but the aching desire to embrace it all rocks me to the core
and I am ready to drown in it all
just to know exactly the meaning behind every word we share