i wrote about you on the tallest billboards
screamed your name from every rooftop
in hope someone would hear me

i sand your name in every song i wrote
singing the words of heartbreak and lust
in the melodies intertwined
the words spilled out of me like
water in a cup
making the soles of my shoes wet with tangled words
of poetry

i uttered your name until my throat was hoarse
scratched with the letters that spell out your name
so beautifully

letters that make something so simple
into something so melancholy

I'm so happy right now
I'm dancing in my seat
A smile is glued
Onto my bright face
People are staring
Unable to get
Why I'm lost
In a world of joy
I couldn't explain why
So please don't ask
Just let me be
Let me dance
Let me scream
Let me smile
Let me be me
Even if
It's different than who
I often am

The wind screams,
in whispers.
It is filling
in the moments
I can feel
what it says.

Words are clearly felt.
I hear
the movements
as they follow,
motions
of my head.

At times
they sway away,
away they sway
at the times when
the moment is not
with me,
or I with it.

However,
at most times
I am.
And the wind screams,
to remind me of that.

Tis' comforting
to the heart.
Beautifully aggravate.
Scream on,
I plead,
my soul begs thee
to scream on
and relieve me
from my
thoughts,
delusions,
confusions,
whisper those screams
I plead,
to me.

The digital exhale
Pushing out
Content creation and idea regurgitation
Outfacing ideas, concepts
These things become the shell, the defined exterior of us
The fodder for perceptions
Of others
About us
We update, share, ideate and create
We post, pronounce and proclaim
We share with trite exclamations
Cute cats
And clever #hashtags
We spray forth our digital exhale
Hoping
Believing that we will be, become this feed
Of me
Until we are
Out
Of breath
And then
We must, gasping
Pause. Stop.
In the momentary emptiness of ourselves
The frightening hollow
Of our millisecond of solitude
Touches of singularity
Haunting, taunting us
With ourselves

IfoundmyselfhangglidingovermalibucaliforniaandIforgothowtotlandfo­rabouttwoandahalfhoursIeventuallyendedupcrashingintotheroofofamas­trosbistroIthencasuallywalkedthroughthedoubledoorentrancewalkuped­tothebarandaskedforascotchontherocksbartenderlookedatmeoddlyasIno­ticedIhadajamesbodnsuitonupsidedownItwasafuckingspectacleonlyIcan­trememberwheremydatewaseitherprobablyfuckingtheownerorthedoormanw­hichwaswhisperedinmyearbysomesadisticmiddleagesobesewhitewomaneng­orgingherselfoncheeseandlobsterIproclaimtheywateredthatshitdownal­thoughIwastoospacedtorealizethatitwasjusttheicecubesandIwasjustbe­ingaloofregardlessIthrewtheglassontothefloorandstartedscreamingth­attheestablishmentiswrongneverthelessmyboothwasrefusedserviceIwas­pursuedbysecurityoutthedoorbutconfidentlyledmyselfoutonlytorealiz­eIhadforgottenmyfuckingiphoneintherestaurantasIwentbackinIrealize­dthepropertyhadtransformedintoanadulttoyshopwithallofmyexessurrou­ndingthecashregisterholyfuckinshitholyfuckingshitholyfuckingshitt­hisisitisntitthisisitisntit?

It was so real.