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daisy Aug 2023
i will never look for true love
i am someone who will never find one
why?
i am a sadist,
not to someone else
but to myself,
who prefers hurting herself
for myself
Kayla Burke Oct 2022
You always told me
"you look so pretty when you cry, my love..."

I used to be flattered, batting my wet eyelashes, my glazed-over eyes, fully captivated by the sight of...you.

but now I realize
you're just a sadist
& I'm just a *******...
the lamb to your slaughter.
the wolf in disguise.
Him Jan 2021
I will love you, until we are black and blue; bruised by these pains and pleasures, that I offer you.
I assure you this, I am not a sadist. 😂
J Dec 2020
breathe for me,
just one deep breath.
let me see the rise of your chest.
i've got you, we're going to have a little fun, princess.

down into the depths, we go
don't squirm.
you know how I hate when you mess me up.
calm down, brat, i've got you.

look at you! my hands wrap around your neck so nicely!
it's almost as if you were made for me
come on, darling, eyes on me
i like the way you smile, so smile for me, hm?

oh yes, that's the one.
my pretty little princess, you're entirely precious
how innocent you are for me
hard to tell if you're whining or moaning, love.

does it hurt when I touch you?
it's your fault, you beg for it, don't you?
it's your fault that you've bruised
its okay, pretty baby, purple suits your face well.

flinch again and I'll hit you harder.
aw, tears? you know how I feel about crying.
god you're so cute, I could **** you!
you're such a tease for death, hm?

you screamed so beautifully when my blade was against your neck
have you ever been touched like this before?
no? not by anyone but me?
good.

you're not meant to know anything
except for me,
except for the ways that I make you feel.
I'm treating you better than anyone else ever would.

i like the way you look
all bound up, just for me, skin tied tight
do the rope burns feel unbearable?
just a little longer, love.

you'll get excited to see me soon.
no more of that pretty little fear
every touch, you'll crave, you'll beg for.
you're mine now, aren't you? say it. say "I'm all yours."

you'll love every second of life i grant you
i'll show you what it means to want.
oh yes, you'll want to be mine forever.
i'm the only person who can really love you.

speak when spoken to,
talk to me.
don't ******* run.
you're so cute when you're scared, give me a kiss.

i like how you taste, muah
your cracked lips spill that lovely red juice
you've got me all hot and bothered, now, fix it.
tell me you love me.

i hate that i have to let you go
but you know the saying, right?
oh, of course, I love you!
but that's a weakness of mine, isn't it?

god, I love how you fight until the very end.
claws against my hands, raking my flesh
make me bleed, I won't loosen my grip
you used to love how it felt to be choked

you told me these stories, stories about you swimming with your family
I'm only giving you exactly what you wanted,
you like swimming, huh, baby?
breathe for me.

I'm not hurting you, ******* *****.
stop.
why must you fight me, I thought we were past this.
I could let you go, I might. I almost might.

oh, life! the life drains from forest eyes
see plants need and love rain, but you can drown them rather easily
you're so weak, hm?
you know how I feel about eye contact, but this is different.

don't look at me, darling, this is our goodbye
you're not supposed to look back
yet here I am not looking away either.
not too much longer, and you'll be gone, right? right?

right. gone.
your hand lays limp on my own, I already miss your nails.
did i ever tell you how much I loved your hair?
it's heavenly now that it floats around you.

I hate that you made me wet my clothes,
yours cling to you rather nicely, I suppose.
i told you to breathe for me, we had our fun
you really did a number on my hand, love, it's beautiful.

why are you just laying there?
get up. now. we're not playing anymore.
oh
oh no

No, no no no, we were playing, just like we always do
like when you let my knife twist it's way into you
it traces my name in its cursive whisper
you liked it, you said, you loved it

get up, now, please.
I said please, princess.
you belong to me, get the **** up.
you're so ******* useless.

this isn't funny.
it's not funny.
come back.
****, I didn't mean it

tell me you love me again.
i didn't give you permission to die.
breathe.
I said breathe for me
J Nov 2020
I will
do just that
until i'm nothing
but art

something to be admired
would you like that?
would you like it?
do you like art?

canvas
paintbrush
paint
why are you crying about it?

Relax,
I have a towel, it won't
get on your
precious ******* clothes

don't call someone.
I
said
don't.

I'm fine
happens all the time
just shut up
help me clean.

why the ****
are you looking
at me
like that

like I'm disgusting
like I'm *******
gross..
****.

it's just paint.
taste it
do you want to touch it?
the paint's running off the canvas, let me get that.

sorry.
not a lot of people get it
not a lot of people like it.
you like art, don't you?

do you like to paint?
I've been inside your backpack.
I've seen you in your hoodies.
I've seen it all.

don't look surprised.
the little lighter in the side?
i like it
i wanted to light myself on fire.

do you burn your art?
do you burn the canvas?
sometimes it's frustrating
so you want to ruin it.

sometimes it's okay
to ruin things.
Daddy ruined mommy
mommy ruined you.

let me see.
don't scream. let me.
let me ******* see.
you saw mine, it's only fair, right?

there.
there it is.
you've dug hard, yeah?
do you like it?

have you shown anyone else?
no?
they saw but you didn't want them to.
the other ones reacted awfully, huh?

you're lucky I'm here.
I'll love you regardless,
you're not a freak to me.
just a bit messy.

i like messy.
your blood tastes nice, yknow.
i want to open them wider.
watch it flow.

shut up.
stop crying.
stop.
no one cares.

there. not too bad.
I just want to see your insides.
i will know how you work.
is that okay?

I'll carve my name next
it would look pretty, right?
you do it, too,
on me.

we can just leave each other
little messages.
i love you,
y'know?

you don't have to worry anymore
we're gonna keep each other's secrets
sometimes art is a group project.
no one gets to see but me.

does it hurt?
you'll get used to it
you'll crave it.
just like i do.

stop sniffling,
you jumping will make me mess up.
you want to hurt.
not die, yet, right?

sometimes, when I'm alone
at night
or day
or anywhere

i paint little flowers.
little smiles
little words
little things

****
****
****
****

you do too,
i saw it on your thighs.
i saw the words.
did that say "hate?"

what do you hate.
tell me.
tell me it all.
I'm going to find out.

yknow.
I've been through some ****.
we all have.
gotta cope some way.

clean yourself up
don't ******* touch me.
i say when you touch me.
i say.

you're so soft. just grab the brush.
grab the brush, do it.
I'm painting.
I'm painting.

we're gonna paint the sky, the stars.
nah, ******' with you.
we're drawin' grass right now.
see where that goes.

you look shocked.
stop looking.
you're cute when you're afraid.
relax, I'll live.

i wish someone would tell me it's
******* fine.
god do NOT ******* touch me.
I'll **** you.

I'm going to die alone.
I'll pretend that I'm fine with it.
I'll pretend that I'm not playing with the crippled canvas.
how much until it rips in half, i wonder.

sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so ******* sorry.
i think that i think too much. i don't want your ******* pity, i want to **** myself up. jesus **** there's somethin' wrong with me.
Tony Tweedy May 2019
Its only those you trust with the keys who can destroy your soul.
Everyone who broke your heart you gave that power to.
edited immediately after posting...
to change it to statement rather than question.
The "why" is really quite irrelevant.... we just do.
We all will know the feeling of a broken heart or betrayed trust.
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