i've been kissed
by a sadist
who holds my hand
and guides me softly
to dramatic
pain

at his hands
i've been held
like a child
so fragile
i could be dropped
or broken
with such ease
and no fight

i've been kissed
by a sadist
who hurt me
so fully
so hatefully
that i don't
quite
catch on

under his spell i wait
and wait
for love to greet me
like it once had done
the kiss
of the sadist
burns my flesh
exposing the weakness
underneath

but i always return
to the sadist's touch
the sadist's
kiss
the sadist

because i love
his love
and his love
is my pain

the kiss
of the sadist
makes me
a *******

why wont you let me move on?
is it because you dont want me to?
you dont want me to find happiness
with someone else?
or are you just plain sadistic,
forcing this pain on me?

every time i think i can breathe,
there you are again
with your hands around my neck
cutting off my oxygen supply
making me lightheaded.

every time i try to move,
i realize my arms and legs have been tied down
and there you stand
taunting me at the end of the bed.

why do you have to be so cruel to me?
its probably because you know i live for the pain.