i go back sometimes
to when you were love to me,
the first introduction i'd ever have to intimacy.

i go back
to two months ago,
when we held hands for the last time,
denial of what would happen the minute we walked outside.

we let love control us,
we let lust contort us,
we let ourselves become dependent on a relationship with an expiration date.

i go back
to two days ago,
when you told me we couldn't be friends.
i remember intermittently,
the warmth that i felt.

I take a trip back to the past
All the while, seconds fly fast
Reversing nature's clock of causality
History distorts to become my reality

Nightmares of darkness cloud my wake
I rise and run for my life's sake
Anguish claws me with devilish ******
Life eluding me, my timeline loses ticks

But stepping though this terrible fate
The clock rewinds again at an incredible rate

Entering a new dream, I walk as I will
In this heavenly home, so preciously still
And in the distance, I see you and run  
Towards you, I go to your glistening sun

Met with curious lights, I wince my eyes
And open them again to a resplendent prize
A picture of the past, the dear angel I miss
It overwhelms me with deluging bliss

I see you, you whom I have loved so
I've lost so much, why did you have to go?

An embrace is placed upon my soul
Laying to rest the price of my toll
With tender strokes, you weave my peace
My troubles are lost to time and cease

With gentle steps, you fade into the white
You tell me let go and I obey without a fight
I smile, taken home to the present where I belong
With a priceless silence where nothing is wrong

The memories pass and lavish my heart
A beautiful finale before my new start

Everything is okay for I can happily smile
Years can pass and they'll no longer be vile
The past that's plagued me is my future no more
My life is no longer lived with this timeworn war

I don't know where I left myself.
It's a blur,
from you to me.
Between tequila shots and
lines of whatever.
Increasingly less noticeable,
indistinct
Killing myself
trying to **** you.
And now only you remain

Now and then I do remember,
way back to last December,
I held you close in the sunshine,
and kissed those lips when you were mine.
But oh so long has passed my dear,
and the future's ever drawing near,
the girl I look at and the girl I see,
isn't the one who meant so much to me.
But her words make smile, often far too much,
and I sometimes I find that I'm craving her touch.
So while yes it's true, you're different now,
I have more feelings for you than I should allow.

For you who served
So others might live.
Some of you gave
All you had to give.
We lost some of you
And it broke our hearts
But, live or die you all
Stood up to do your part.

For those of you who served
When some could not go
You overcame obstacles
That we will never know.
But because you stood
And fought against villainy
You have an honored place
In our country’s history.

No stones can be stacked
High enough to balance
The mothers who lost
Their children in battles
And no speeches made
Can ever appropriately say
What your sacrifice has meant
To every one of us today.

I wandered the lonely road
Like it was the only road.
I called out to nobody there.
I called out but nobody cared.

The echoes sometimes call
From no memory at all.
Nobody ever felt the pain
That caused this refrain;
A sound that startles me
Somehow it shames me.
Often it blames me.

I don’t understand the reason
There can be time without season,
Leaves fall without any tree.
Voices heard but only by me.
Is this only my imagination
Or some kind of hallucination?

I wandered the lonely road
Like it was the only road.
I called out to nobody there.
I called out but nobody cared.

Is this something the lonely do?
Is this what the solitary go through?
Do all loners dance to a ditty
Dictated and orchestrated by pity?
Is being single a kind of madness
Brought on by descent into sadness
Where one is never told
That they have lost their hold?

The is a kind of sad magic
That makes clowns of the tragic
And paints impressive hues
On the excuses I use
To try to mask the crippling pain;
Of swirling around the drain.
It’s not until the last bubble
That I know I am in trouble.

I wandered the lonely road
Like it was the only road.
I called out to nobody there.
I called out but nobody cared.

As I'm sure,
you can see
-ripped jeans, messy hair and a cup of coffee-
I may not of had the best
nights sleep.
But somewhere
in those spotty moments we called clarity
-or was it sobriety-
I found the right words,
to let out.

I remember bits of it,
Vowels that spun violent nights.
Consonants that concocted creative crimes.
There was even some petty punctuation too!
It was, I think
"I Love You?"
-"i loved you"-