i once heard a comedian
bemoan his career
i need to get up and do the thing
i need to get onstage and make the folks laugh,

for i am the gatekeeper to another world,
and when i open the great gilded doors,
for you to walk through
you will have entered a place
of make believe
and candy
sugarcoated walls,
and flowing rivers of chocolate

your pain will have subsided
your worries
if i have done my job right
will have melted onto the floor

remember those bills?
i dont either!
they have vanished into
my topcoat
your woes are all with me now

and i am prepared
to carry your weight
when i arise  
in the morning

i know a heavy transaction
will occur
this exchange
a laugh for your burden.

i am not just a comedian
i am a burden collector.

It trickles down my spine like your fingers did

Staring into steamy haze,

the place where I hid.

Skin ignites ablaze  

Complications roll off my shoulders  

refreshing my sore soul.

Your lips curve into a smoulder

my body loses control.

Everything burns

my heart dances in the flames

as it takes a negative turn

No more games.

But as the past washes away,

my body melts like clay as I beg you to stay.

Encumbered by the lunacies of men,
the seed of joy lays in a greater mind.
The breath will draw you closer to the den,
where every answer waits for one to find.
The self blows as the wind through all the sky,
Monsoons and sighs blown from a single Air.
The wanderings of lust begin to die,
New flowers grow from bones without a care.
The flow of water carves the ancient rock,
as cosmic wheels kaleidoscope through time.
A shepherd hunts a wolf to save a flock,
but canine birth remains its only crime.
Release thy worldly ties upon the skin,
Ascend the stony staircase deep within.

My release doesn’t lie
In the blood that stains
Your carpet,
Or the tears that soak into
Your pillow,
Or the screams that pierce
The still night calm,
Not even in the **** that
Snakes into my senses,


Wishing to melt into
Whatever I was before
Star light emanating from
Afar;


Old light pulsing from the new skies










(I want to see myself in that light
A time before I gave in to the night)

To fall for a person
With hands of bird bone
That quiver and flutter
And like water, break stone

        Winter blankets branches
        It asks
        Does frost taste bitter or sweet?

One step forward,
One retreat
Each step stepping
On someone’s feet

        If I held those hands
        It asks
        Would it taste bitter or sweet?

Don’t hold birds;
Watch them flit from trees  
And come and go
as they please

I remember sitting on the floor,
Arms wrapped around me.
Bawling my eyes out
Wondering why I'm crying,
Thinking what's wrong with me?
This isn't reality.
Now I look back and realize,
It was real.
It was abuse.
Nothing was wrong with me,
Except for being used.

A telltale sign,
I now see.
The problem wasn't even me.
Angry with what has happened
But elated because...
Now I'm free,
Effortlessly,
Drifting on a breeze,
Of such sweet release.
I have to say
God bless me
And everything that tried to break me
That in itself amazes me

💙

Written,
by me...

Rebecca