all I ever wanted to be
was to be yours
so you tell me
since you have rejected me

now I'm lost
living without a cause
except for one
trying to keep living on

with a broken soul
may I add
a wrapped bandaged chest
and a shield up ahead

I now want to be
a person who sees
right from wrong
and is strong

screaming inside my head
I LOVE YOU
whereas you never seem to listen

Obviously
I read your words

Don't know what to say
Reality hurts

Won't write you back
Forbidden words

Know it *****
You're better off

You
(And I)
Have cast me out

The structure of
my poems are
almost always
fragmented.

Fragmented.

My heart is fragmented too.

Fragmented.

Broke into little minute fragments of
the living flesh of love,
painful love,
broken love,
shattered love.
Each and every time
I see you.

And I see you everywhere.

And I still remember the
fragments of me
you took away.
First slowly,
piece by piece,
then all at once.

I am now fragmented.
Spilled on the ground,
deserted,
forgotten,
some fragments
left in different parts
of you.

I am fragmented.
My minute fragments with
you.

**And only you.

It scares me when people
ask me to just
let you go.

It's not that I can't.

I can.

But if I do,
I don't think I can ever
love anyone
with the whole of
my heart
anymore.

I fear losing you.
I fear losing love more.

Above all,
I fear losing myself
when I lose you
and love.

Altogether.

I tried to love you, but you shut me out
You said I wasn’t enough, for your future
I was willing to give up my dreams, for you
But it seemed like that wasn’t enough, you left
I tried everything, to show how much I cared
You pushed me away, refusing to see the truth

I’m sorry you’re too blind too see what you lost
If only you listened to me, and gave me a chance
You could’ve had the boyfriend you always wanted
From what I can tell, you just weren’t satisfied with me
My friends told me I was wasting my time, being with you
I gave you everything I had, yet it didn’t make you happy

Was I a fool for believing in you? I just don’t know
Maybe I felt you were lost, and needed me to be there
But I realized later on, you had all these other plans
Sadly, none of them included me, so I was left behind
My heart was ripped to shreds, without any notice
Leaving me to pick up the pieces, in a world of pain

You have been only once on my bed
Now I can’t get that image out of my head
I can’t find sleep nor desire to eat
I feel like a freak

I’m writing all these poems
Just to forget
The feelings that I have
For you just being an amazing friend

I couldn’t stop staring
At your lushes pierced lips
Your gorgeous blue eyes
That was a winners price

The noises you made
Girl, they made me suffocate
My heart thumped, vision blurred
I never wanted to kiss you so bad

The hug at the end
Where you wickedly smiled
Knowing I adored you
I knew I was being a hopeless child

I have this obsession
       called you
I have these butterfly feelings
       for you
I have this painful ache
       because of you
I don’t want to stop this
       but I have to
because I'm broken
       and I love you