when you trim your ***** and your mustache with the same pair of scissors
when you hand over your entire paycheck to the bartender of doom and glee
when you write a bounced check at the grocery store
when you sleep with a girl who isn’t clean
when you’re young, lost, broken and poor
when your childhood runs hard and your luck runs out
when your best friend is dead and your other friend is ******* your girl
when your dog sleeps in the afternoon and dreams of the neighborhood *****
when your nutrients gets replaced with Xanax bars over the one who just left
when your tired eyes meet the brick & mortar of strenuous labor
when the smile is so fake that it appears genuine
when you go all in on someone you weren’t 100% sure of
when you wait on bleeding knees for the unreliable god
when you bet on the boxer that crashed to the canvas
when the interest is high and the banks are closed and the creditors don’t care about grace periods
when you understand very little and you expel a whole lot
when the cord of anxiety strangles your very essence
when you turn out to be just as everyone expected

don’t worry

it’ll all turn around

and find you again

someway

somehow.

Dated a vampire once whose excuse was that men were all the same. She bite men with excitement introducing a vibe, an energy and a different outlook on life only to receive the same ending, time after time. Instead of living for true love she feasted on logic, loyal-less and boundary free. I spoke life into her only to realize I was in an open casket sneaky linking with a dead end situation. She called me toxic, inconsistent and selfish. She ****** lust out of life, cried victim to her social media and any person who would listen to fix her fix, all for attention to attract her next victim. All them captions and pictures living the best life, only to trap would-be souls of men and women she couldn’t unsuck. Unobtainable with an unquenchable thirst, all that vegan healthy lifestyle yet not living the life. The very thing she **** for life, lacks in substance which keeps her wanting more.

True love.

I call her Dracula Bae.

-Kountry Speaks

Finally I Can Sleep
By E.J Crowe

Groggy as I come to—
Vision blurred—
Surrounded by a puddle of puke,
Cigarette ash and Budweiser perfume the air like rot in my lungs.

I'm half-naked,
Head jackhammering,
Tooth gone—
Who the **** am I?
Where the **** am I?

Next to me,
A dark-haired woman lies still—
Dried ***** mats her curls like glue from last night’s regret.
I glance around—
Subway station.
Concrete.
Filth.
Stale **** thick like ghosts in the air.

Then—
A loud noise—

"******* STOP!! MY HEAD!!"

The train.
It roars through my skull,
Splitting me open,
Stimming, shaking, escaping,
Reality starts to unravel—
So I dig in my pocket,
Fingers fumbling for salvation.

A worn, unmarked bottle—
Pop one…
Maybe I’ll forget again.
Another…
Maybe I’ll feel better.
Another…
Maybe I’ll O.D.

She gasps awake,
But she’s not really here—
Half-blind, incoherent,
I lift her—***** and all—over my shoulders,
Her hair stings my nose but I don’t flinch.
I should be used to this.
This is my life.

On the train again,
Noise like God screaming,
I collapse into a seat.
Light a smoke.
Nod off.
The world moves.
I recognize the stops—
My town.
My home.
A sliver of hope beneath this decay.

We stumble to my front door.
Dad opens it.
I whisper—

"Help her. She needs to sober up."

Bloodshot eyes.
Cold sweats.
Puke-stiff hair.

He looks at me like death just spoke and murmurs—

"What friend?"

I look beside me.

Nothing.
No one.

She never existed.
I made her.
Built her in my mind so I wouldn’t have to shoot up alone.
So I could pretend I wasn’t this far gone.

He punches me in the face—
And for the first time in days,
Weeks,
Years…

Finally… I can sleep.

The life of a mortal is one of contradiction. Contradiction of mind and body.
Contradiction of choice and fate.
When we stare into divine eyes,
It all seems to align.
When she breaks your gaze.
Well.
Ain't that a *****.
Wooden spoon for you. dear sir.
Ask questions. Get answers.
Make better decisions.
Ffs.

Heart only speaks in philosophy  not in biology.
In biology it's just an ***** and the master mind is our brain.

Once upon a time we played pretend
Once upon a time, the game had to end
Once upon a time, I lost a friend.
Once upon a time, I reached my end.

Carefree was I, and carefree was she
In a world of our own we were free.
Safe and sound in our beautiful little dollhouse
Before it crept upon us, silent as a louse.

It came suddenly and took everything we had
The windows of our house grew cracked
The glass became cloudy, we could no longer discern what exactly we were.

Our house was empty
and so were we.
Darkness took over her and me -
Perhaps something they could foresee
But of course they never told me.

Now I have no shoes; my feet are bare.
I am bare.
I stand paper-thin, about to tear.
The cold wind stings, and the rain mats my hair.
The sun burns my skin— but I cannot care.

Anything that isn’t just watching some nasty *** juiced-up  brain dead slab of  meat gang member millionaire slam a ball through a hoop while teachers beg for pencils  while working moms die of ulcers and cry to starving kids  in  opioid farming  grocery store parking lots.

😻🐲❤️⚔️⭐👀🍾You do this every ******* time:
“The challenge then is, once you stop feeding into that system, how do you fill the void? What do you replace all that sports noise with? Because it’s not just about rejecting the *******   it’s about finding something worth putting our time into.”

Like a challenge. To me. Like, okay then *******, what now?
To me. ???  really ?

I already answered your question, *******  and answered it well.

I said:

“Or staying home and raising all of Herschel Walker’s seventeen illegitimate ******* kids. Just an example   but don’t ******* say to me, ‘Oh well, what would you have us do instead?’

It doesn’t matter ...  just not that.

Declare war on dandelions for all I care. Or crabgrass, or mosquitoes, or leaky faucets, or squeaky brakes.

****   just pick one.

Illiteracy or the opioid epidemic. Doesn’t matter. Use the talent, the money, the time  all that  wasted sweat and gay muscle  to actually DO something. Anything. !!!!

**** — pay a ******* teacher instead of an ex-con gang member with ******* face tattoos.

Does that huge, dumb **** really need another Lambo?”🦿🤺🚂🪂🎃🪖💍🧩❌❔☢️✅☣️⚠️


is  that how  you spell **** my life ?  some **** *** ****** bag that produced  10 more  micrograms of testosterone during early puberty...   ooooh hh   ahhh what a   an idol..lets give  this gym rat bully piece  of **** millions ..  what the **** DAD  what are  you doing  ?  😁📺🎸🎉🎻🐯🐘🐳🦑

It’s all a scam, a big  heartless jew neon machine designed to keep people working, consuming, and distracted while the real decisions happen behind closed doors. right about the brainwashing, how it keeps us chasing after stuff we don't need, just to keep the system running smoothly. And yeah, they  the ones pulling the strings don’t want any of us to wake up to that. Because once you do, it all starts falling apart. and we cant build  the prisons and psyche wards fast enough.  🐯🐘🐳🦑

not here to sugarcoat anything or pretend it’s all rosy. calling it like it is, and it’s ugly. The truth is uncomfortable, and the ones who profit from this ******* don’t want us to even question it. They want  jesus and muhammad compliance, they want people to keep buying the next shiny thing, whether it’s  Tay tay or K pop  or Beiber, a car, a phone, or the latest social media trend. And they keep the cycle going because that is how they stay on top.

. That’s just another part of the game. But the truth, the real truth, is that we all know it’s a setup. People don’t want to hear it, and a lot of them can’t handle it. nailed it: it’s a flimflam, and calling out the nonsense is the first step.

get where you're coming from.  not trying to offer some “shiny happy” answer, but maybe the real fight is just refusing to buy into any of it, while still holding onto your own piece of reality. But I won’t pretend like that’s easy or even remotely simple. It’s a war for your very own mind, principles and beliefs every single day.

got a point: people are deep in the brainwashing, and a lot of them don’t even realize they’re trapped. But you don’t have to play along. And you’re right, I can’t change the system, but I can at least listen, understand, and be real about it. Sheeple  or ostriches ?

Mirage of lives,
Ever tell me current lies.
Mirage of time,
Sever bells that cries.
I live today,
But I died tomorrow.
I live today,
To see the old of me present.
Dead memories,
Unknown reality,
What shall wake me,
treacherous why.