My soul burns through these eyes
while I seek you out
through this blizzard
of life.
The rain of my soul,
wets my face,
as you dried it
with your winds of light.
I am oblivious
to your presence,
yet you're there.
Amongst the shadows
of my mind,
and blood in my veins.
Made to enliven me,
like an elixir.

I smile foolishly
There is everything wrong
Going on, in my life now
Yet, I laugh like an idiot
**** care, about it all
I have lived all too carefully
Picking pebbles on the way
I have sinned not too much
Pious is the delirious clay
What else can I say, I do not
Try to defend all that I have
Lived; and I smile coyly
What has anyone begotten
By not living it in other way?

Find yourself, live to seek
Seek and pursue, until clear
It becomes. Until you find out
All that there is to find out !
Or you die trying, with the
Knowledge, of not have gone
Down, without even a stare.

Life is a mystery
Solved by living through each day
Picking and choosing each little thing you do
To hopefully come out the way you dream
Even though oftentimes reality is ugly
So unfair and we yearn for things to stay
Remain and not bid us adieu
Things heat up, water to steam
In the night, people scream
Some with delight, others of fright
Some real, some making a foolish deal

Up is right and down is left
South is east and north is west
Stalking about like a major theft
Doing it's very, very best
Throwing a stone in the lake
But it comes back and in its wake
Rush toward the shore twenty more

None hear the cries of the unsure
But discover the corpses of their mistakes
Pondering what could have happened
When there were witnesses a plenty
All spewing acidic lies to disfigure
The twisted thing they could never cure

Life gives and takes
As an ocean pushes and pulls
Metal above a candle blackened
Polished to be shiny, like new

A mother lulls her child
Tells it to calm, no more to be wild
Look to the sky, as it changes hue
Does that not calm a restless soul?

Rolling clouds, endless expanse that is the sky
Some beg and plea and ask it why
But the answer they seek is not in the great vastness overhead
Or in the miles of earth and life underfoot
It's within oneself, and in those you meet
Find it, and embrace it
Don't stop searching
Especially if you're uncertain what you're searching for.

- Jay M
April 17th, 2020

Tonight I ponder purpose,
a reason for existance,
the force to my resistance,
and food for my superstitions.

What am I, a producer or consumer?
who am I, the savior or the ender?

I live to wonder why and how to compromise these feelings
deep inside this organic device.

Icll pay the price to my destiny lender
while waiting still for my untimely surrender but first a question to the future:

where is your expectation
under examination?
I need some inclination,
a simple indication,
perspiration of inspiration.

The sun could shine through
yet my space is always shaded.
I'll try to block my eyes
to the half that's always jaded;
make tribulations no longer be berated.

Someone give me the weight
I've waited to feel for so long
because my body aches
for a chance to grow strong.

I make no more assertions the world,
as a whole, will ever adequately define its morality.
People fluctuate in their ideal
too much.
We often try to make them concrete
from a spectrum of principles.
We may even reach an agreement;
a certain stalemate to an issue.
Though I know there will always be
opposition, it is an unavoidable constant.
And so, in the end, every debate is
nothing more than a lasso to a cyclone.