It’s hard for me to grasp that I live in a world that is indifferent to my existence and there is no absolute truth.
It’s hard to navigate it.
There are things that I simply cannot control and every decision I make is plagued with uncertainty; there is no right answer, just consequences.
Sometimes, the consequences are clear. Other times, they’re not, and manifest much later.
You think you want something, but you don’t. And the only way to find out, is to do it.
You do it. You decide to give it a proper chance.
It’s not going as you hope.
But, you invested so much time and energy into it, it might not be worth throwing it all away.
But then again, maybe it might.
And by the time you do, you’re thinking you should’ve done it months ago.
So much time wasted.
Now, it’s time to try something new. But what?
You don’t trust yourself very much, because what you thought you liked, you didn’t actually end up liking. Or finishing, even.
You wasted too much time and you’re not getting it back.
If you’re going to invest time and energy into something, shouldn’t you know if it’ll be worth it?
But you don’t know.
So then, you don’t try it.
But then you realize, you should have.
And you wasted all this time doing nothing.
Back to square one.
You can’t have reward without risk.
But how do you know which risk to take?
I guess that’s why it’s called a risk, right?
But, not every risk yields a reward.
Sometimes, your best isn’t enough, right?
I mean, not everyone can be rewarded, right?
Some people are rewarded with wisdom.
But wisdom doesn’t get you very far in this world.
Sometimes, knowing too much does more harm than good.
Some people were ****** from the beginning.
You may not have been ****** from the beginning. But you haven’t left your comfort bubble.
Because you don’t trust your decisions.
Your battle is metnal.
You never feel ready.
You never feel good enough.
But you know you have to do something.
But you don’t know what.
So, you prepare yourself for something you think you might want.
But you prepare too much, to where you don’t end up doing it.
But if you under prepare, you’ll kick yourself for not preparing enough.
You should’ve waited a little longer.
Why didn’t you wait one more month?
You should’ve read that book.
Back to square one.
You’re not really religious, but you pray.
You know no one has the answers, but you ask other people that have been in your shoes.
You visit psychics.
None the wiser.
You have the answer.
But you’re festering in your own confusion.
Back to square one.
