Why must I constantly doubt myself?
When will I realize my worth?
What will it take for me to see that if I just work on being the best me,God will give me my wants and needs?

How is it I know better but don't do better?
Why do I insist on sometimes playing the fool?
Is real love suppose to go through so much pain and feel like a never ending puzzle game?

What is the purpose behind all my tears?
Why does this cycle of torture never stop spinning?
When will I finally get the strength to take control of my life and start winning?

What if I'm really as damaged and crazy as I feel?
What if I'm really losing my mind?
How can I keep my inner fire to keep fighting burning and alive?

When will I be genuinely happy?
Why does it seem so far away?
What is one to do when feeling so confused and astray?

These are the questions of my heart that I pray to have the answers to one day.

Have you ever wanted to meet
Christopher Columbus just before he sailed?
Would you like to have chatted
With Oscar Wilde while he was in jail?
Or maybe you could discuss with
William Shakespeare about young hamlet?
Discuss modern religion with Buddha
Precisely to see if he could even handle it?

Maybe see Cleopatra herself
To check if she was as pretty as they said.
Go back and see old Saint Paul
To see if there was a halo around his head.
And Thomas Edison, was he a ****
Or the amazing genius we all say he was.
Was he or was he not guilty of
Blithely trying  to steal Tesla's good work?

Wouldn't it be great to see
Josephine Baker dancing for all she was worth?
Take a trip back in time and see
What really happened at Jesus's birth.
If anything really happened
Or if the disciples just made it all up.
And what about the holy Grail?
Was there or was there not that famous cup?

Am I am the only one who wonders
What all the legendary stuff was really about?
Did Mahatma Gandhi the man
Ever feel the need to scream and shout?
Did the USA founding fathers
Really care about the common populace?
Did Carlos Castaneda have
Any useful message for the rest of us?

I wonder. I truly wonder
If telephones had been invented then
Would any of them have answered
If I could have managed to make the call?

if i were to ask
if you'd prefer the truth
over happiness, would you take
the red pill or the blue?

in Your Heart is a Muscle
the Size of a Fist, Sunil Yapa
writes, "care too much
and this world will **** you cold."
but there is no greater love
than this: i'll lay my life down
for both strangers and friends.

it's true what the adages say.
knowledge may yet yield power,
but most find bliss
in fictitious myths.
the tyranny of dead deities
cajoles the soulless, self-inflicted
ignorance claps the mind in shackles,
a brain neutered by obedient acquiescence.

there is a somber courage in sobriety.
i'll deny until i die, defying the urge
to idolize a substance that distracts
the mind from misery. i choose to question
everyone and everything,
even if a clear-head invites
utter agony. conviction is certainly
a long and lonely road, but our integrity
is the very last inch of us and—within
that inch—we are free.

so steadfast, i remain
a stone anchored to the riverbed
by the weight of gravity and the rushing
tides eroding me. we'll stand strong
in solidarity with all those suffering,
opposing the specter of dominance, illusory
as a phantom, ephemeral as the passage
of time. i'll unleash an omnipotent psyche,
inspired by the insight found in the closing lines
of a punk and artist's call-to-arms:

pursue what haunts you.

if the truth terrifies you, good.
that is precisely what veracity
ought to do.

Trying to assemble a completely blank jigsaw puzzle, I am torn - am I missing a piece or is this just a naturally difficult puzzle to solve?

I'm looking for a map
One that can show me the way
To a place I've never been, but always wanted to go
Because I'm having trouble on my own
Seems like I've been lost for ages
Walking the same worn path, asking myself questions
What is my purpose?
Why am I here?
Is there a reason why my life has to be this way?
All of the questions
But nobody has the answers

They said, there are 12 stages of falling in love;

The 1st stage, initial attraction – recognizing that, for whatever reason, you'd potentially like to be with this person.

The 2nd stage, investigation – finding out more about the person to evaluate whether they'd be right for you.

The 3rd stage, friendship – establishing friendly relations with the person in hopes of getting to know them better.

The 4th stage, envy – wishing that it was you that was spending more time with the person.

The 5th stage, embarrassment – being flustered around the person, trying to avoid them because you know they make you nervous.

The 6th stage, bravery – owning up to the fact that you are falling deeper and deeper for the person at hand.

The 7th stage, lust – becoming even more physically attracted to the person in the hopes of getting them in bed.

The 8th stage, hope – being convinced that there is a chance for you and waiting for the right time to take a shot.

The 9th stage, confession – admitting to the person that you have fallen completely head-over-heels for them.

The 10th stage, comfort – falling completely at ease with the person ; being able to tell them anything/do anything with them.

The 11th stage, planning – looking ahead to the future with the person.

The 12th stage, bliss – complete, utter and total happiness shared by the both of you.

Was it ever so true? That we can define love after we feel an internal affection, or a sudden burst of happiness every time we see that person, or feeling like we couldn't live without the person. Was it love? Tell me, what's even love? Does it happens from the chemistrical feeling that occurs to the body of both men and women? Or does it happens spontaneously without a reason? As if it were just like that? Tell me is love a lie that mankind made up or truly, a holy divine feeling that God created?

How do I love you this much?
After everything you never say?
How does this still hurt?
Every second of every day?
How do I still miss you?
As I lie here in bed alone?
Will this ever be over?
Will I ever get to come home?