Love was a mystery to me
therapist says it started when i was three
with a kissin' cousin who was blonde and handsome
this started when we were both very young.
To love and to marry
that was our plan
when I was a woman
and he was a man.
Our time together was swimmin', and fishin'
no blood did we share, just huggin and kissin'
cousins, skin so bare, someone had to know,
what was going on when we would go....
Too young for ceremonies
even pregnancy or jail.
Too attracted to one another
to let family hatred prevail.
Can't help but wonder
what started our curiosity?
How it grew to be so...
intense, sexually?
What did we see?
I have pondered for years
through the pain and the tears
whether we were right or wrong?
I have rationalized, made excuses and lied
been therapeutic, accepting and cried.
Tried to release the loss in the words of a song,
but it always came out all wrong.
I never felt guilt
nor ***** or a *****.
But a nightmare remains when i was a bit older
when i had screamed and said no more!
Still he wouldn't let me go,
I'd squeezed with all my might
I tried to keep him out
to stop what wasn't right.
And my father couldn't hear
he'd been drinkin' and wasn't near.
Anger remains for my mother when told,
she became unbelieving and cold.
Doesn't understand my hatred still to this day,
doesn't remember her inaction made me this way.
So now he's a grandpa...in an old shack
where he likes to tinker and hide
I saw him once when i visited there
after my aunt had died,
that's one time that I really tried.
It is quiet when i am around
in his mourning and sadness
we don't make a sound
the silence is like madness.
No police were ever told, no testifying,
i was promiscuous, and must be lying.
My mother and father were to blame,
my childhood would never be the same.
I learned to keep quiet,
to protect family, prevent the riot.
My loss i thought, to never be his wife,
my pain was not worth caging another's life.
So, last year I kissed him on the cheek
and then I told him his grandbaby was sweet
and to call if he ever needed anything
and somehow fixed my broken wing.
Because I hopped in my car,
wished upon a star
and while I slowly drove away
thought of Montego Bay
and stared at my ring
and started to sing!
Poem Comments
(17)
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Insideme commented on Innocent Love
04-25-2011
The pain of it being ignored or looked past, the coming to terms with what happened, and then this.....So, last year I kissed him on the cheek and then I told him his grandbaby was sweet and to call if he ever needed anything and somehow fixed my broken wing. Forgiveness is the only way to move foward and it sounds like maybe you have a bit of compassion and understanding about his situation too...good for you, hate is a strangling rope that hangs us when we hang on to it. love and freewill to you beautiful one!
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Tempestlady
06/12/2011
YOUR WORDS ARE SO GRACIOUS AND VERY APPRECIATED. Hope you and yours are well. Tlady
spbsdude commented on Innocent Love
02-20-2011
Were you only three when this all happened? Or was that where it just started Takes a lot of courage to write and publish one like this. I have written one called "In My Ten Year Old Bed" of my experience as a youth. Maybe I'll post it here. Alll the best, Spbsdude.
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Tempestlady
02/21/2011
Started when i was three, ended about 6th grade. Yeah, courage, but nobody in my family cares enough to read my **** and try to get to know the real me, and I'll never meet most of you so its a pretty safe releasing place. Thanks for the understanding comments and for stoping by to read. I really appreciate it. Write on.................Tlady
Mareann commented on Innocent Love
02-10-2011
The way in which you shared your pain , is delivered in a wonderful poem, well written and expressed. Blessings to you, Mary
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Tempestlady
02/11/2011
Thank you for your time and generous comments. Tlady
jec commented on Innocent Love
02-07-2011
Very personal I know ... and well done ... I have a desire to read the book that follows this poetic introduction ... I believe that may not be your choice ... thanks for writing and sharing ... jec
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Tempestlady
02/09/2011
Think I should write a book about it? What a concept, never even considered it before, Thanks for the idea, and for reading and rating............write on................Tlady
stellar commented on Innocent Love
01-14-2011
so innocent indeed...and again love how you expressed this unusual happenings...i find these lines so cute...Too young for ceremonies even pregnancy or jail. Too attracted to one another to let family hatred prevail.
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Tempestlady
01/14/2011
The true philosopher and the true poet are one, and a beauty, which is truth, and a truth, which is beauty, is the aim of both.
Ralph Waldo Emerson, American Poet (1803-1882)
Hard to say certain things with the right attitude. But did you like it? or were you disturbed or angered by it? Just wondering. Thanks for reading...Tlady
