The voices return
But you're nowhere in sight
no longer see what is wrong, what is right
I just can't seem to find the light
Voices scream I have no where to turn
Sparkling music plays
Nightmares become reality
Losing thoughts of my mortality
Just a small abnormality in my mentality
Please remind me of brighter days
I want them to leave
But it scares me when they go
And I know I have nothing to show
It's real please don't go
Don't leave me alone to grieve
I need you now
Just save me somehow.

They can't tell what's wrong with you from the outside. They can't tell what's wrong with you from the outside. They can't tell what's wrong with you.*

Is my illness truly  invisible?
Or am I just deluding myself again?
My thoughts are racing, falling, tumbling,
maybe their right to call me insane.

Don't ask me to speak because I don't want to;
words don't mean a thing any more
Instead I write and write onto sheets of white
into the abyss my heart is poured.

I hear their screams in my head all the time
a pleading in my ear,
I'm the one who's living this hell
so why is it me you fear?

I carry on breathing everyday
despite the creatures living inside
and I will keep living in every way
until one day I don't even cry.

Up? Or down?

My body levitates between two worlds
As I stare at the blank blue that throws me
Off this earth.

In that moment I am nothing, and everything,
And as I am suspended in time my
Mind is suddenly aware.

Aware of the rustling white noise that
Lies within silence, which hides the many
Voices of the beyond.

I can hear them now, they’re getting louder
But I know you can’t, so you ask me if
I'm ok; of course I am.

I am aware of their unreality  but
Still, I am wary not to let them know
That *I know they are there.

So I return to the floating ocean
Above, or was it below, me and am
Once again, drifting.

He peeps through the looking glass of life.
Emotionally detached, a social recluse.
Avoid eye contact.
Avoid eye contact.
Don't dare look at me!
That's right you've seen him!
But.... Have you actually seen him?
Or is he just a figment of your imagination?
For he's the stalker.
Lurking about in the shadows.
Spying on you from afar through those holes in the wall.
A human CCTV system looking you up and down when you least expect it.
Recording your every move in the memory bank.
Voyeuristic tendencies with the inability to openly admit he's one step away from the psychiatric ward.

I was walking the down the road by the high flats and the shop
And I was followed by my father looking out for me
And my every step was shadowed by a hacking cough and a struggle
to keep pace with the nova waves of my feet and of my head.
The Asian corner shop was full of the voices of my friends
and the vices of my body and the shapes of old women
old women buying cat food for their Sunday dinner
and I couldn’t remember what I had been sent to buy
And my friend filled me to the brim with allergy pills, psych pills, sleepers
but the hours rolled on and each time Morpheus approached
I ran to the faded figures of my family beyond the doors
I heard you cough, as you, four packs a day until you died,
my aunt, you always coughed like that –
I heard you cough, and I didn’t know what had happened
And beyond the shroud I came to wake you
and I didn’t realize how much I scared you. I could say
that I thought you’d be okay since you knew the territory, but –
it’d be the truth to say that it wasn’t on my mind at all, no,
I was not on my mind at all.

You only existed during the night
You burned cold
Your shadow consumed and
Your smoke filled me up
Thick and heavy

Always intense
Deep feeling
And the end of the world
Never eating or daylight or
living in the real world
No mannerisms or stories
Just darkness and cold

I saw you in the light once
Your shadow obstructed
Your mystery disolved
Through the thinning smoke I saw
Sadness
A cosmos of fear and  hurt
Fueling your cold fire
Burning everything
Eventually
Even you