if the lines of code
that capture all these thoughts  
somehow bubble up
in a distant pool
in a plasma of pixels
in a far off river of an era
and spill out into the world
let it be known
that i am doing my best
i am fighting the good fight
i am here on the right side
the lovers’ side
and let it be known
that i’ll do my part
to burn it all up
if i have to

I wander endlessly through time,

Searching for the meaning I've yet to find.

Rekindling the quiet flame within me

A small hand slipped into mine,

As I was caught in a moment of cacophony

The younger me, smiling with bucktooth wonder.

I nodded, swallowed my doubts, and pressed on.

"We'll find it soon buddy. Thank you for waiting. "

Today I have progress on my mind
Of a physical and spiritual nature and kind.
Taking steps to improve my health
Where I am ow is better than where I was.
From day to day or even week to week
I don't notice the progress that I seek.
But when I step back and reassess
It is then that I'm aware of the progress
I'm farther than I was before
But still not where I want to be
Even so, I'm closer and it gives me a thrill
Because I can get there, I know that I will
There are good times and bad times
Sometimes I move forward, sometimes back
But I refocus, recenter, and get back on track
Losing weight, getting stronger
It takes practice, patience, and time
It's tough, but it's always worth the climb
It seems to me that our spiritual life
In many ways runs parallel
To the ways that make us physically well
In our prayers and in our giving
How we're loving, how we're living
Sometimes our faith builds slow
And, sometimes, it quite quickly grows
It's hard to see in the desert place
Where the wind blows hard against your face
The path ahead is very nearly lost
No idea how much distance you've crossed
But the winds die down and the skies clear
Breathe in deep as you are standing here
And through the trials you see
Just how far you've come
And how you came to where you are
You've done so well and worked so hard
Now have some rest and keep making progress

The dove lies split open, roadkill on black tar,

its white purity bleeding into the dark,

war has begun where peace once perched,

feathers soaked in oil, the asphalt’s cold hunger,

we name this wreckage progress, and drive on.

up the mountain with a tremble,
    no plan or gear or hope,
Sisyphus I must resemble,
    endless clamber; tedious trope.

no longer; I recall the base,
    the grass; the trees; the glades,
as I ascend; with unkept pace,
    the path behind me fades.

looming blizzard lingers behind,
   (it) taunts blowing in today,
upward; disheveled, lost and blind,
    no guides to lead the way.

forced to muster a clumsy strut,
     advancing; though I'm weak,
uncertain of journeys end; but,
    certain there is no peak.

Silently, I submerge my head
Under unknown waters
Closing my eyes,
Holding my breath,
I almost falter
Embrace, I must, what lies ahead

Fill my lungs with the liquid's salinity
I suffocate in the path to sanctity
The agony is merely a symptom of
My resurrection sung by a mourning dove

The ensuing metamorphosis becomes
An excruciating asphyxiation that overcomes
Preceding concepts one yearns to eschew
And yet chains of doubt still anchor true:

"The cold abyss invades every pore,
Therefore cleansing my spirit's very core
Or would that wipe my true essence
For the filth has taken root in my existence?"

we wait.
Gnōthi Seautón (Γνωθι Σαυτόν)

know thyself, is a fundamental
"must do"
for any planning
to die right…
#meditation

“Zi zhī”
Word of me, my word… known shown
“Atmanam viddhi”
Katha Upanishad:
“Atmanam rathinam viddhi,
shariram ratham eva tu”
(Know thyself as the charioteer,
and thy body as the chariot)