If my dad had lived, he would be the big 7-0.
On this day, Dad was born seventy years ago.
Seven decades is how long he would've been alive.
But leukemia killed him, Dad did not survive.
He lost his life in 2013 on the 13th of July.
Dad would be the big 7-0 if he hadn't died.

The cold morning air
Buffeting off the tombstones
Stinging...tearing eyes

I went back
But, my mind wandered
Off to seek a haven
Where this pieces would fit

Those were the only days
Where I was a statue
And not a godforsaken flesh
In a straitjacket

Parents,
Are the place where you go
As a storm coming in
Heading your way
Wreaking you over,
Bashing your reality,
Being an acid in your little lemon life,
They are the white limbo
You heart wants to go
Are not they?

I am at the place
Where I gauge the years to empty
Where it is dark
Where it is white
Where no roses grow
Where no crows caw
Where my heart vacant,
A kenopsia
(Turning the page)
(I turn the page)

What is home?

Hallow and Empty
I'm feeling alone
Knowing that you're in danger.
Hospital beds with so many meds
It's like you're not there anymore.

I fear that one day you'll leave me
I'm all cut up and broken inside.
So mama, Please stay with me.
I need you to be alright.

Never a person for friends
But i always had you in the end
true form of support
with unconditional love
I don't know how I'll cope without you.

I've been in this place before.
the one where you've almost died.
i'll take those moments with me
it makes me cherish you deep inside.

Mama please know that I love you
I can't lose you at age 41
It's much too soon for the both of us
so take my hand and please hold it tight.
but mama, i know you're strong
Hopefully everything will be alright.

Close in that I can feel you
but in membrane shroud
no seeing you;

In November beside English falls
at Christmas between coral walls
no seeing you.

You have brought me here, you can let go now,
I know its difficult but it needs to be done,
You have taught me well, believe that
Your job is done

Twinkle twinkle little light
How I wonder that you might
Give my sight a bit of joy
Through this wooden toy.

How I wish that it could just
Speak to him and so, entrust
All my thoughts, my love and care,
He would be my only glare!

I would care not that its flesh
Is a piece of pine refreshed
By my old and wrinkled hands,
That's not where its value stands!

Twinkle twinkle little star,
How I wonder if you are
Listening to this old fool
Who has nothing but his tools

And his silence and long beard
And some hope that he could hear
Someone dear to call him "dad",
Privilege he never had...