am i important? just like the other people?
and then, i started questioning my worth
just like that tears escape again from my eyes
questions and thoughts like those filled my head
overthinking really got me spared

Round and round I go
Merrily dancing
in circles
To a tormented tune
nobody else can hear
Over and over obsessively, silently,
Invisibly turning, constantly
Dizzily spinning,
endlessly
Searching for the horizon,
A conclusion, a compromise,
to stop the ceaseless wheel.
But the train just goes faster and more passengers board.

shallow water,
the tide would go back in and out
i saw you, you were floating
while me, i just kept sinking down and down
no matter how hard i tried,
i couldn't get up.

I am so afraid of things changing
but I am also scared
that everything will stay the same.

I often find myself seeking validation from words that were never written for my tongue

Caging myself behind walls made of letters still undefined

pacing the corners of my fears wondering what is being said in another’s mind

I run from the words that define my faults, disowning them and leaving them behind

But I still carve them into the crevices of my skin, to remind myself of everything that I’ll never be

Then, I write a stranger's name beside them so that I can blame someone else for my insecurities.

I'm sorry
But this song will be
My deepest apology
From someone like me

I should've treated you better
Not that kind of girl who
Give thorns from words in my songs
If you'd read this letter
I hope you'll feel better

I'm your cactus friend
Who tries to hug you
But instead
Give thorns that made you bled

I'm sorry I'm waving good bye
But this will help you fly high
So go chase that dream
And forget that I have lived

I'm your cactus friend
Don't worry this soon will end
I'm sorry if I'd hurt you badly
You'll soon be sleeping soundly

I just wanna say I'm sorry
And thank you
My dearest friend
It's me your cactus friend

J
Ju
Jus
Just
Just s
Just st
Just sto
Just stop
Just stop o
Just stop ov
Just stop ove
Just stop over
Just stop overt
Just stop overth
Just stop overthi
Just stop overthin
Just stop overthink
Just stop overthinki
Just stop overthinkin
Just stop overthinking
Just stop overthinkin
Just stop overthinki
Just stop overthink
Just stop overthin
Just stop overthi
Just stop overth
Just stop overt
Just stop over
Just stop ove
Just stop ov
Just stop o
Just stop
Just sto
Just st
Just s
Just
Jus
Ju
J

1
Every time I rip myself open to unearth my forgotten humanity
I accidentally allow sticky hands to reach
Into the weary caverns of my rib cage
Where they’ll pick apart the sore softness of my heart
Until it’s too bruised to be beautiful

2
She says it’s as easy as happy thoughts, as “positivity”
So easy that sunshine and rainbow sparkling can prevent
Deep-seated illnesses that plague the depths of a mind
Like maybe, really, anxiety and mood disorders are easily temporary
And I’m just not doing it right

3
I create an enemy of everyone who tries to help me
And weaponize their kindness into some sort of double-edged sword
Because nothing good comes without a cost
Or because my manipulated heart is far too vulnerable