I consider existence an opportunity:
Think of the trillions upon trillions of would be humans denied life.
How is that I, a person so nondescript, could be afforded this opportunity?
How am I able to exist when so many others can't?

How is that I exist in this millisecond within the hour?
A millisecond between the stars and the monarchs.
Who would I be if I didn't exist right here?

Fleeting. That's how I would describe this.
I may live to be ninety or I may live just one more day.
It all feels the same.
But will I?

I'm just clamoring for one more day.
But why do I clamor?
Why do I clamor for another day of complacency?

I enjoy this opportunity that I have yet to truly fulfill.
It's a matter of when, and not if.
Who will I be when the reaper comes knocking at my door?
Will I be who I am now?
If so, what a waste of a precious opportunity.
Will I be something better?
Could I be?

Hours. Days. Weeks.

I can’t get the time back
spent on a nintendo DS
talking to no one
lost to myself

Don’t even like playing
but being in another world
where I could control my life
kept me there for months

Here I am again,
Asking what I've missed
I hope we can get back
on a regular talking schedule..
well, wait, that sounded awkward.

I guess I can't really say
why I dropped contact--
Or wait, did you?
I don't remember

I had fun that night
The one where we danced in
karaoke bar and stole a kiss here and there.

I guess that was us being drunk
and sharing our drunkeness
in a dance and a few close hugs

I hope you're well
I know I'm not very good at follow-ups

Crap, it's late. I can text you later?
I guess? I'm sorry.

I hope you're well.

you don't have to fear life and people so much. it'll be alright. you have to let go more in order to enjoy things.
- you don't have to be ashamed of yourself. don't live life up to people's expectations. everybody has flaws, you know? so it's okay to be weird.
- you have to take your chances. be bold. you'll be much happier when you do.
- try to talk more with people. surprise them. be spontaneous.
- don't take so long overthinking. just live, just feel.
- remember that you do not need anyone who doesn't need you.
- treat yourself with respect and demand that from others as well.
- don't be afraid to speak up.
- don't be so judgemental, ok? people are so much more than what they appear.
- value your family. they're the only thing you truly have.
- go out of your comfort zone. it'll make you grow.
- take your time to grow
- do not let fear stop you from doing what you want.

She handed me a red dice.

If you're gonna run
She said,
You better run from
yourself.

You'll chase bliss,
Win your life,
Strangle fear
And conquer
heights.

But don't roll the dice
For just anything
quite.

When you're out of profit
An empty wallet
Ready to make a promise,
You'll find it
in your deepest pocket.

It will let you start anew
Like a star in a barren sky
You'll fly again
Perhaps even soon.

Just remember that
By the millions of odds
You got here in time
To be yourself.

No more
No less.

And so you
Do what you must
But you better do it right
There aren't too many dice throws,
Given here in life.

And so
I rolled.