I miss having you around
Because you took away my frown
Even though you’re the cause of it
You crush my soul and bring me to life all in the same conversation
My love, did you know that my sea parts for you?
That I took down all of my walls so you wouldn’t be afraid to come in?
That I stepped down from my throne of anxiety?
That you were the very one that shattered my golden crown of insecurities
Only to then gift me this crystal crown of doubt
That matches my tears
I weep silently and so subtly that you don’t even notice
And even if you did
You wouldn’t care.
Don’t tell me that you love me, I see your garden of lies and the other women that have come to stay in it.
But I’m too afraid to tell you
So I fake a smile as my kingdom is in ruins

Hello old friend
How I missed you in my absence
In the darkest time you were always there your matalic smile glinting in the dim light
I missed the slick way you dance across my skin
Gracefully gliding leaving a ribbon of beautiful crimson across your pale stage
I know your destructive nature but how I love to dance with death
Sinking into the void only to awake the next day with a little less will and a lifetime of pain
How I yearn to be held in his strong arms and dance slowly into oblivion because who would miss the girl with the pale blue eyes. Ask, dear friend and find no one ever cared to look past her glasses. If I never woke up again not a soul would miss me they would simply miss the smile I masked my pain with. They would miss my bubbly personality that has been adopted after years of acting like everything was fine. Plus if I die my writing will be here forever an eternal piece of my soul representing the realest part of me
My pain
So old friend the question stands
Shall we rekindle our fire? Or should I sleep and just feel a different kind of pain?

Dear Friend,
If you find your self passing by
And your not crunched for time
Please feel free to stop on by
And no matter how apart we move
Our past has worn a welcomed groove
Our lives have bowed but still not split
I'm sure we'll roll right into that fit
It's been too long since we shared some laughs
Keep me in mind if we just might cross paths

Mark A. Williams
                            SEPTEMBER 14, 1962 – JULY 23, 2018

___________________­

Wow Mark,

Was so, so saddened to hear this news. I haven't seen you in over ten years, but as kids, we had some amazing adventures, didn't we? Partying, camping and swimming at the Hudson lime pits. Mowing down on Pizza and pitchers of Pepsi (and as we grew up, BEER!) at Pizza Hut. (We knew the numbers to ALL the songs on that jukebox by heart!) Hanging out and looking at the stars through Budvido's telescope, listening to Doctor Demento. Laughing hysterically as we ran through Monty Python skits as everyone looked on in total puzzlement because THEY wouldn't discover them until YEARS later!

Building underground forts in the North Woods. You, Budvido, Zeke and I playing pinball at 7-11 for hours and hours. Watching Bands, chasing girls and playing Foosball or Pool at the Touch of Class Teen Club. You gave me my first Imported beer . . . a Lowenbrau. I will always owe my passion for those German beers to you and it was fitting that Budvido bestowed you with that moniker.

All through Jr. High, sharing a seat on the school bus. You, Matt, Tom, Buddy and I cruising around late night on our bikes for hours. Hanging around in the Jasmine Lakes sign with hijacked beer or getting free bags of Burgers from Burger Queen when they closed at night! Jousting with shopping carts on our bikes in the Winn-Dixie parking lot. Sitting up all night in Jimi's room after climbing in through the window or going on endless space cruises with him and Raymond in the Toyota.

(RIP Jimi Carlsen)

Sneaking into the nudest Colony and skinny dipping! Always cracking up at the school lunch table. Swimming in my pool and terrorizing my sister and her friends. (Allegedly) Trashing that crook Fast Eddie's produce stand after he refused to pay us for a full day of picking watermelons!

Good times, indeed . . . Some of my most precious memories.

I can only pray that you know that I wouldn't trade my youth or you in it for anything in the world and you will be sadly missed, Lowenbrau, my old friend.

I hope that where you are, your beers are ice cold and that you and Jimi aren't having to glue the Hookah  back together.

Jeff Gaines
July 28, 2018

Hello my friend
How have you been
Don’t answer yet
But don't fret

See me and you debate
About everything to the date
I guess opposites do attract
And sometimes we lose contact

But you are always there
When the weather is fair
So we can go to the park
Until it turns dark

Then we go to your place
Like its our secret base
Those where the good days
Thinking of ways

To mess with madison
Laughing so much to hurt our abdomens
I miss the feeling
Of our hearts sealing

So how are you
And the crew
Do to miss it
The night where we talk and sit