one time, when you were six years old,
your parents took you to the alligator farm,
which is exactly three.02 miles away from the beach, and
your father, with his beefy hands, lifted you up in his arms,
let you peer over the safety railing at the scaly green creatures
below you, and sometimes now you wish he would have
dropped you down. maybe you would have died. or maybe
you wouldn't have, but at least then you would’ve had
a survival story to tell.

perhaps the problem with
starting poems off with a trip to the alligator farm is that readers
expect you to get chopped into sixteen pieces by means of
teeth larger than hands, break your neck, but
there’s no conclusion to this story other than that sometimes
you wash your hands until your knuckles are bleeding,
and that’s by far worse than being swallowed by a reptile,
clawing out your own vocal chords,
dying,

Give me
black or white
All or none
Ten or zero
Misery or fun
Two stark divides
Are where i hide
No shades between
No grey
Or chrome
**** the blurs and the
Unknown-- label me
silly
Brand me, defined
Legitimate, warranted
A definite side

Hi, hello, barging in
Peeking through
Confronting sin

Flushing, angry,
Visage blue-- it’s
The world from
Which you do
Eschew

Brittle, crumbling, falling apart,
Piecing together, mending a heart,
Frustration, a manifestation of agitation,
Ponder, wonder, lost in thought,
Finding a riddle, unsolved,
Break into losing wits, yet you still sought,
An unorganized, horrible mess,
nozzle your love, flaws you caress,
Don't do this darling, on shaking knees,
Insanity is all I could feed,
I am not the saving grace that you need

Zooming fast
Zipping and
Ripping through
Brain matter

Negative neurons
Infiltrate and invade
Irrationally made
Usurp what’s real
It’s all surreal
In the most ****** up
Of ways

OCD OCD
Don't you know I love thee
I'm obsessed you're obsessed
We're two stalkers stalking each other in love
can’t get enough
Youre the best drug I ever took

OCD OCD
Don't you know I'm crazy for thee
I want you everyday
You are all that I crave
I crave you like herion
No way will I be mellowin

OCD OCD
Two attached we never let go
we don't care what they know
we don't care what they think
we don't care if they think were bad together
it's beside the point we know forever

OCD OCD
I'm so compulsed I cannot see
I am so blindly in love
I'm so compelled to never let you be
And I know you think the same as me
Let us bask in our OCD

heart and mind
both opened at the
exact same time.

outside of my comfort zone
i quickly and quietly
write the poem.

regrets and fears
of darkness from the past
how long will AJ let me last?

a dark secret i don't want
to show
just how long until they know?

he seems supportive
accepting and such
and he says he likes me way too much

l.r.

The windows crack and splintered glass cuts the silence
Diluted in its form, ever-present consternation shields against the fear
Blacker than her sheets, the softly spoken anecdotes with simple revelations Help to carve a smile in my ear.

Empty dreams replace the falling; morning as a time of day
Presumptive promises share the space
While water streams and insides scream
She moves with effervescent grace.

Warning signs are absent in her voice
As I shy away from independent thinking
Blocking out their ploys before they play
Perhaps, the present highs outweigh the sinking.