why do i feel so sad?
nothing happened
least not really
but i am wrong
i am always wrong

that is what
they said

I believed them

In time, imperfect being knows itself at such
And still accepts that it is
And isn't so much
That which is immediately wanted and more
For all could become in time, in time
So much more than that we ever were before

Mercy me, Mercy see,
She's the one who wrote responsively
Mercy please, the company teased
So I'll **** you all at once, don't plea.

You made me a slave, Mercy.
I made you each a grave, perfectly
In straight lines like Madeline,
I dropped the shovel, time to get inside.
Don't play me like a puppet,
String me a long and tell me to love it
Miss Mercy, you made your decision,
Kindly get in position so I can tell you
Exactly where to shove it.

Mercy see,
You and all the others will never break me
I don't fight harder, I fight smarter
I earned respect and then you ask to barter.
Don't bother, in response to your letter,
Keep your policies, I can do better.

Sincerely,
Yours.

I like my Dark
Especially when it's
On Fire

Ice is water
And too smooth
For my satisfaction

I don't need a breeze
Or a tree
Or to find me

I'm okay with me
And accept all of my
Flaws behavior
And the abscence
Of my positivity

I can create in the dark
With spells and bountiful PEACE

Maybe I should leave him.
I can see the pain settling in his eyes as he stares me down eyebrows crinkling in pity.
"Why don't you fix your sleep schedule?"
It sounds like code for,
"Why don't you fix yourself?"
I tell him I can't. I tell him that I've been trying.
But he can't see it.
The shackles, the ball and chain.
The shadows that appear even when there is no light.
He can't hear them.
The demons in my mind whispering self hatred.
Maybe I should leave him/
I can't explain to anyone what I am, how I feel, what I'm doing.
I'm tired of trying to explain, exhausted from trying to live a life that I don't want and trying to change.
Happiness.
What a cruel word.
What a sad reminder that pain is all I possess.
I shackled myself and I should leave.
Before I shackle him too.