As midnight strikes, I wage wars
with invisible enemies
that will never breach
your side of the snow globe.
And you'll wake like my nightmares
are your dream catchers.
You'll wake and catch sunlight,
dew drops and morning air.
You are in the bubble of where
good things still happen.
You are where
I am not.

And sometimes I still wonder
how you get the better
end of the bargain,
while I only get nostalgia,
unhealthy coping mechanisms
and nuclear explosion
barren spaces in my heart.

I can't see past old horizons
and what's stuck ticking restlessly
on blank canvas walls
has always been a marker
dividing my present
from yours.

I am tired
Of seeing your name wherever I look
You already carved it into my soul
Scarred by the weight of a few letters
So please, just stop

I am cold
Each time I see you
Pretending my heart isn't pounding
Blood replaced by a paralyzing poison
Drowning me in an ice bath
Please stop

I am scared
Loud noises and raised voices
Hands wrapped around my neck
Gasping for air
Nightmares
Stop

You scare me.
Appearing in my life when I ended it.
Reaching out for my warmth when
You asphyxiated the fire.
I need oxygen.
Not you.
Please.

Tick...
chained to an aluminum pole
on the corner of nightmares
and broken daydreams,
salted weep rusts purple pillowcase
-eyelids swell sobbing

from hell's red pepper pavement
laughs echo and voices pierce the brain
like scorching fire bolts and
hot spasming muscles burn

Tock...
darkness circles tossing shadows
as mumbled whimpers bounce off
naked walls covered in chipped paint

~ body shakes  -  limbs wrench.
cold chills trail fiery sweats
triggering goosebumps to parade
down my spine and skin

ache puddles as
pictures storm my brain
in black and white blinks
flashing places  -not people
~ no smiling faces

...Tick-tock
hands round the clock face
every sweep ticks in stereo
marking body cramps-
trip off rooftop and
the building just stares

falling  - sleep grips too tight,
whisper goodbye and not goodnight
catch me
stop the clock-tower chimes
ringing 'ding **** the ***** is dead'
to the beat inside my foggy head.

The thing is,

my nightmares aren't about huge spiders,

or falling off the top of really tall buildings.

They aren't about the monsters in the closet,

or the monsters in my head.

They aren't about ghosts,

or creepy clowns.

My nightmares are about you.
The way you killed me with your eyes.
I've never been the same.

The way you stabbed me in the back when I wasn't looking.
Red eyes,
love made me blind.
The way your words trapped, strangled, and suffocated me.

Sweet dreams.