I have officially graduated
I thought I feel a change
after it happened
but I feel the same
nothing feels different
I was more excited about it
than I thought I would
I stood in line
in a hot gown
I walked across that stage
in front of all those people
filling up the gymnasium
I got my diploma
and walked out that school
as a graduate
my highlight was
I got to hug my favorite teacher
and express how much he did for me
and how grateful I am for him
he saved my life
and kept me in school
I cannot express
how much he helped me
and kept me going

You Wanted This

You wanted this.
Not the tears, not the silence—
but the ending.
The open door.
The echo of footsteps leaving.
And for a while,
I stayed standing in the ruins,
still setting a place for you at a table
you’d already abandoned.

I begged the past to answer.
I folded memories like laundry,
hoping they’d still fit.
But love doesn’t live in a house
where one person’s already gone.

I didn’t utterly break us.
You just stopped building.
Stopped reaching.
And I wore the weight of it,
thinking if I loved hard enough,
you might feel it again.
You didn’t.

And that’s okay now.
Because I finally see it—
freedom wearing my own name,
a sunrise that doesn’t ask a teacher’s permission to rise.

You wanted this.
And now,
so do I.

Not because I stopped loving,
but because I started living
without waiting
for you to come back.

You can keep the deafening silence.
I’ll take the joyful freedom.
You can have the past—
I’m making room
for someone that stays and builds.

© 2025 Shawn Oen. All rights reserved.

dual enrollment for art
seemed good at the start
then drained me
****** the passion for art
out of my soul
my hands no longer covered in paint
I no longer make jewelry
drawing is a hassle
poetry is my escape
I'm going to college
for creative writing
what if
it ***** the passion
the soul
out of my writing
making it a chore
instead of a release
anxiety naws at my brain
the what ifs
knocking inside my skull
what if it is draining
but what if
it gives me more passion
more motivation
it is a risk I'm willing to take

tick tick tick
the clock is ticking
closer and closer the day will come
when I leave this school
and never look back
I'll look ahead
at my future
and my new beginning
a fresh start where I can be myself
freely without the fear of judgement
going to a more accepting college
where my identity is more than
a cruel joke
to be used against me

I'm living, loving like it is
first time happened in my life long ago.
Cheers, heavens—great like I always prayed.
They come in all sorts.
Happiness comes out of my throat—
giggles, laughs, all comes in different sorts.

Love in my heart.
It is my first time to live it true.
Life feels like flying—
like it's the first time
coming from above.

Bless us sometimes.
I live loving life.
I love it every time I feel alive.

This is my time to say goodbye
for all the cry,
the things drained me.

I'm in a fresh start,
hoping for love and best wishes—
hugs for me.

I want to finally live free.
See me come, go,
like I'm a float boat—
happy like insane.
Heavens blessed me.

Life do really care.

the day is nearing close and closer
the day I wear my cap and gown
and walk down the stage
and get handed my diploma
the day I no longer attend high school
the day I leave this town behind
to start my new life
and new beginnings

The noise in my head is getting louder
Blocking out the world
It’s an infection
Seeping into my veins
It increases my paranoia
Letting criticism push me down
I put on my “I’m fine” mask
And become a performer once again
My reckless behaviors that made me bleed
Are no longer me
I don’t want to die necessarily
I just don’t want to face my fears
And feel out of control
My soul is nervous
To be integrated into society

Hello world
You may not recognize me
though now I finally recognize myself

I made a difficult choice
freedom over familiarity
I ran to a new beginning
Shedding all those who attempted to control
through lies and vitriol

I have found my voice
I will use my voice
to be a truth teller,
a mirror,
a fierce catalyst for wellness

I have found my voice,
so I sing out
with rebellious joy
Hello world
Hello


© 2025 Joan Zaruba. All rights reserved.

New beginnings are in order.
It’s time to start again.
Begin a new chapter.
Make a new friend.
Don’t close the book.
Don’t call it an end.
You are only getting older.
You will not break if you bend.