Hindsight is a funny thing
Before it all,
It was all I wanted,
I spent years writing about my angst for a life,
desperately aching for someone to want me,
clinging to the hope of a someday

And I got it,
My previous selves would've been proud,
relieved,
We thought it not possible, y'see
And then I lost it,
I was not mistaken,
There is such fragility with emotion,
especially when he fades,
no explanation provided

Hindsight is a funny thing,
After it all,
I wish I'd just held out,
Not kissed those lips,
The lips of a liar,
Because I would still be intact now,
doubtful of the future,
but with innocence retained.

I used to take pencils
And throw them at the dotted ceilings
Of so many classrooms
Never knowing that the lead
Drew a picture every time

I used to purse my lips
And smirk
Before I knew that
I had a voice with which to speak out

I used to be enveloped
In the freedom of naivety
Before I grew up and smelled
The allure of knowledge