my darling, let's go back now,
to when we weren't a fixed point in time.
and nothing would change and we'll still be apart
but i'd like to live us again.
i'd like to remember our love in reverse
because i know exactly how it will end.



i'd like to start with the pain and the sorrow
distance shrinking and stoic conversation thawing
we're getting younger and there's less history to share
i know you less today than i did the one before.
we're old before we're new and we're heading for our pinnacle
we're runming back and to catch the apex of our best.

i want the sourness to fall away

i want to unlearn all of you that stopped loving me.

i don't want to know you found a prettier girl

i don't want you to stop contacting me so suddenly.

and as we move back through the years

and the coarse ropes of comfort fall away

we'll regain the grace that made us good at the start,

we'll find our way back to that place.



soon i'll reach the day we first met
and you'll be that bright excitement i first caught.
then the memory will surpass our temporal stretch

and you'll be a stranger with no space in my heart.

mine own psalm musings

living between two broad, sea-emptying rivers,
a Majesty’s sentries to mark the differentiation~
division tween divine and a moderate human’s
moderating steps, as his stride shortens as the y/tears
lengthen, and it is accepted as an inevitable musky must,
no matter how the sweet spring day refreshes, the newly
planted trumpeting shards of bright yellows daffodils
pinch his yellowing eyes, few notice the tiny tears of
discrepancies of an annualized emboldening, a grand
heavenly rebirth and a slow man’s body self~editing,
shedding of a life’s~ending~of~story psalm musings

the man looks for the terrible swift sword, but its
failure to grace us with an appearance, is but a
modest disappointment, for a deferred delay is but
a causation to eke out a few mordant, pungent, caustic
reminders of all that is yet to be, to be accomplished,
though the smirking lips of the necessity of yet, one
more unloved poem extant, tilting the Earth’s axis
benevolently toward the open palms of his beneficiaries who,

you,

are among them numbered, is but, a green shoot in a city’s
hopeful earth planted, by summer, will shed seeds to come
thy way, as an evocation, a good consternation, a joyous
provocation, an asking kingly~gentle, a royal polite inquiry,
would you care to add a a verse to this eternal verse?
before time shreds it too into a yellowed crumpling,
and to the earth it is returned, for the mine of this
psalms is only generic, genetic,  and what is mine is well,

and truly yours too.


nml
<>
March 31, 2024
NYC
9:16am
Sunday Mourning Service

Tell me my love,
What is it you need me to be?

Am I to be a shining knight?
Slay the dragon,
Climb the tower,
Defeat the evil king with my might?

Do you need the gentle giant,
A gorilla in the mist,
Some juxtaposition of size and timidity,
A stalwart wall of muscle that is oh-so reliant?

Shall I be an old-time Cowboy,
The Marlboro Man made flesh,
With those predator/prey eyes that scan the horizon,
Shaded from the sun with a hat made of corduroy.

Or maybe I should just stay me,
The man that is always there for you,
The joking friend that is your favorite person,
The one that makes you feel oh so free.

There has been no interbellum.

We, the committee investigating the threat
that has resurged, or refluxed from the gut,
we offer in conjecture objects of affection.

Biometrics bind us to knowing our BP & HR,
to the most precise degree… insuring some
shall live far too long,
and be granted executive rank,
after all common sense would tell a man,

step down, admit the fact, we ought not
mess with the message,
entrusted to our care,

we must be two minded, when we form
bonds that have been known to hold
family ties religiously, as ifs we know,
familiar spirits, whispering peace
from war, in true confusion
we needed liberty,
oh, we really needed
to be free to take from those who had,
survived since the Clovis Culture
disintegrated
into travelling teachers,
trading stories for stories, bundled
recollections of what the other knew,
- and and not and gate design
- discerning between soul and spirit

all the ones whose signs we see on stone,
with arrows showing they went from here
into the whirlwind,
and we are standing where that was planned.

It still haunts and keeps me anxious when silence comes in the form of uninvited guests at night, invoking the sense of melancholy deeply; like a salt rubbed on a fresh wound.
Part of me still wishes to turn back the time and rewrite the story, part of me aches for TABULA RASA~ a state of blank mind.
And part of me is still reeling on the nightmares which was my reality; while I was still trying to hold a grip over my sanity.
Monster exist in humans and sometime they're insidious like cancer. They eat you slowly while you're still unaware of the symptoms that you had to compromise with. The more you compromised and adjusted, the more it gave them the chance to deteriorate your worth.
I wore a smile and wore my mask of resilience so well that silently I bore the pain, while I was dying inside, yet nobody could see it with naked eyes.
And yet, I was blamed for all the repercussions I had to deal with.
And while the monster lurks around freely, I still walk on the path courageously, with fear but I'll keep walking on, even if it means to be alone.
Freedom is a lonely road.
👣

It's been years since we left
Not just us but also the place where us existed
If places moved on, I would have taken ours with me
Would have claimed it to be mine in the aftereffects of the separation
Would have fought for it in the court of places for full custody
All the nooks and corners would have been mine to embrace
They would still have you in memory, and that's what we would have had in common
We both would have been craving for your presence, but too stubborn to let you in though
But for better or worse, places don't move on and that's what we indeed have in common

Not a day goes by when someone doesnt bother me,

I honestly wish people would just let me be!