You would never think
that someone so young
could deal with such demons
speaking such foul things in their ears
You would never think
that someone so young
could feel as though
no one loves them
and that there's no place for them
in this world
You would never think
that someone so young
could deal with such a horrible thing
that is a mental illness
because mental illnesses
effect everyone no matter the age

i used to think that confidence
was never really common sense
thought it was like lost innocence
it was something you earned
but you make me feel so worth it
w/o showering me in compliments
you’ve awaken all of my senses
i’m feeling alive

don’t tell me that fate is a lie
i’ll believe in it until i die
doesn’t matter long as i try
to be better than i am
to be bigger than my issues
i’m crying away all the tissues
you’ve never said “i’ll fix you”
you’ve just said “i’m here”

sometimes the way you look at me
i swear it’s just make-believe
but i live for this lucid dream
that keeps me wide awake
you’re what i write about when i can’t sleep
i know that talk is freaking cheap
but your words
have more worth
than any dollar bill.
i’m letting my thoughts spill.
your space, i’d gladly fill.

don’t tell me that fate is a lie
i’ll believe in it until i die
doesn’t matter long as i try
to be better than i am
to be bigger than my issues
i’m crying away all the tissues
you’ve never said “i’ll fix you”
you’ve just said “i’m here”

my head on your shoulder
my heart is warm my hands are colder
i’ll just go ahead and hold your
hand to spend away the time
lights out, my eyes won’t shut
no more sadness, yeah, i’ve had enough
this insomniac’s not waking up
this dream is here to stay

don’t tell me that fate is a lie
i’ll believe in it until i die
doesn’t matter long as i try
to be better than i am
to be bigger than my issues
i’m crying away all the tissues
you’ve never said “i’ll fix you”
you’ve just said “i’m here”

It may start with not wanting to wake,
Soon progressing to not doing homework.
Grades dropping,
Self esteem toppling.
You feel dumb, and then you feel numb.
You think "Is any of this even worth it?"
You're filled with doubt as you begin to pout,
But then you remember the small things.
When your favorite band comes on the radio,
When you finally draw that second eye correctly,
The sound of applause at the end of a play.
Even as simple as that new episode of a show you watch.
And then you ask once again: "Is any of this even worth it?"
And it truly is.

Oh son of beginners mistake
Son of pure unclean intention
Son of mothers midnight run to bar
Son of broken swan wing
Son of brokenness
Son of lack of sunlight
Son of ***** laundry

Boy of unknowing
Boy of drinking antifreeze
Boy of missing eyed crows
Boy of missing childhood
Boy of sorrow
Boy of stitches
Boy of afraid of manhood
Boy of afraid

Young God of suicide attempts
God of lying to himself that he ever wanted to die
God of lying to himself
God of lying
God of unholiness
God of shotgun misfire
God of unkempt basements
God of homeless dogs
God of death and life all at the same time
You ain't no God. You are a poser with wings and a capital letter to begin your wretched name.  

You won't be happy when you die, you are split between so many titles and you do not know which to choose. You are no one. No one. You are absolutely no one.

(Say, do you know the route to the nearest bar? I'm going to drink myself open, flesh off bone, apathetic skeleton, closest thing to happy. I'm going to drink myself away from you, this world, myself.)

You're the kid that asks how the cotton candy skies got that color
except now it's all blood red

"I guess God killed all the angels" he said

and I think:
baby my wrists are rags, ripped up rags,
and needles give you bad memories,
and my minds a black, empty, hole but it's still so ******* heavy
just a weight that no matter how much you want to say you can, you just cannot carry

and you need to stay alive
because there's no spots for angels anymore when they die
but I just can't bring myself to say it

and he knows people only remember things about me
like the fact that I like whiskey, and my suicidal tendencies

a lining of  lightbulbs
infused on the wire in my brain

he says Jesus was like any other psychopath ,
just a normal schizophrenic
and if there's a God
we pray for him to fix the problem he's created

what if heavens just like hell in the form of a maze
golden maps leading you to places you aren't any happier

acid trips into abandon attics,
blonde babes with ******* hair
and yellow teeth
cracked out, veins

complaining that the life they hated ever changed

he says I ruined the calm after the storm that no one lives to see
the ending of the bible
that no one has enough attention in them to read