My greatest fear
Is forgetting how you smiled
The sound of your voice and laughter
Forgetting how you held me 
Forgetting the color of your eyes
My greatest fear
Is forgetting the traits you have
Forgetting our anniversary, our meals
What were your habits and moods
Forgetting everything we had together 
My greatest fear
Is forgetting everything about you
Only to be struck remembering 
How much this stranger
Meant to me

I remember your words
and your face
I remember your eyes
and how they stain

He looks a lot like you did, and
he looks a lot like you once did

I remember your hands,
where they were placed
I remember the smell
and how it tastes

It feels a lot like you did, and
it feels a lot like you once did

And I was on the floor
with my head in my hands
The world turned black
There was so much red

Frozen by screams from the hall
I couldn’t stand
I couldn’t move
I couldn’t fall
I couldn’t live it again
I already did, I already did

I remember the calm
of the pain
I remember the slow
fade away

I remember the comfort
you took away
I fear the comfort
as it replays

You look a lot like you did, and
you look a lot like you once did

I remember your touch
on my skin
I remember the outside
and the in

You feel a lot like you did, and
you feel a lot like you once did

And I can only forget
with hands on my neck
And every touch
feels like an attack

Restless legs held still
I couldn’t breathe
I couldn’t leave
I was yours
I can’t make it out alive
I’m already dead, I’m already dead

Warm drops fall on the old café,
Where laughter lived that slipped away.
The summer rain, it hums our tune,
Soft echoes of a distant June.

Your shadow dances in the glass,
A fleeting glimpse of seasons past.
And though the world feels fresh and new,
The rain still brings me back to you.

I know another man’s junk is another man’s treasure,
for what is worthless to one may be priceless to me
Like the bracelets I gave you just to be rid of them,
not knowing you’d keep one—and return the other to me

Do you still wear yours? I wonder sometimes
Last time I saw you, it clung to your wrist
But I haven’t seen you in so long,
and time is a thief I cannot resist

Like bladeless sharpeners, empty and still,
they serve no purpose, yet I hold them tight
Once, they were escape, a solace in steel,
now, just relics of vanished nights

Like notes you passed, folded with care,
tucked away in a box I cannot discard
Like the jacket I wore whenever I saw you,
kept so I don’t forget—avoided so I don’t remember too hard

I hate remembering, yet forgetting is worse,
a cruelty I fear more than pain
For how could I let go of the things that remain,
when they made all my days what they were?

I wish I could project the past,
Play every scene and frame it fast,
A channel made of memory’s hue,
So all I love could see it too

They’d see the tremble in my hand,
The way my breath would barely stand,
The way a glance could make me break,
The way all of me was more than fake

Poetry mimics what hearts convey,
It paints with words that we can’t say
Though poetry holds pain and grace,
It cannot write a warm embrace

I’ve got stories to tell, whole worlds in my head,
But the ink runs dry when I’m close to the thread
Some things are sacred, too real to share,
Moments too fragile for open air

Faster.
Hurry.
We’re gonna miss it.
Leave me alone.

Your laugh—
like wind chimes—
gives me chills,
a feeling I never
want to forget.

One day,
I may sit by myself
and not remember
my loved ones.
I may struggle to walk.
I’ll be done
chasing dreams.

But right now—
slow down.
Stop running.

Let me look at you
a little longer.
Let me absorb your face—
because even if,
someday,
you seem like a girl
from a fever dream,
allow me now
to memorise every bit of you
while you’re still
tangible to me.

Because time
is something
you and I
cannot run from.

Nigel was a Scotchman
Who wore the kilt an aw,
He stained it with some marmalade
And rubbed his sporran raw.

A habit from his army days
When dressed in jungle green.
And pretty girls were few and far
And Nigel far too mean

To spend his hard-earned pennies
On bowls of mutton stew,
So, he took to nightly rubbing
Of his sporran - wouldn’t you?

But we all love you, Nigel.
Aye, hail, and rain doth blaw,
You great Scotch *** in jam smeared kilt.
Ye Guffey **** an aw.

Everywhere I turn
Is a memory I have to erase
An outline
I can no longer trace.

So i can enjoy life again
Without you
Stained all over it
Covered in your ink
Burned in my brain
Memories, i wish i could erase.
Itd be the easy way,
Then i’d have no pain.

Your ink bled into me
And washed out any pigment i had left.

I see flashbacks all over this town.
The places I go when I want to reflect,
Are places we had some wild ***
Places we talked for hours
And lost ourselves in
Eachother
Uncovering our purpose
Reminding you that you aren't worthless.
While you held me in your arms
And talked about quantum physics
That was so comforting
You stimulated my mind and my body
That's all I ever needed.
I was at ease,
Could have been eternity.

i also remember,
what our days would progress to be.
Your mind
turned against me.
You just want to be mr. teach

Always leaving in disdain
Feeling empty,
Feeling forbidden,
Feeling like I gave you another chunk.
You chucked it up to the dust,
And I called it love.

I’ve given you more of me than i have to myself,
You know im one of a kind,
You wont see me going down the conveyer belt.
This love is rare,
I see the good in you, and the bad too,
I actually see you
And I chose to love you.
Through and through.
Its all I know how to do.

So unhappily happy when im with you.
I had no end goal.
I became so addicted to you,
Even with all the mental abuse.

But when I leave,
i start to feel free.
You only see a glimpse of me.
But I'm still haunted by memories
What we could be

I gave so much,
All you did was take,
Spread hate,
Get irate,
Get me addicted,
And become vindictive.

Now  when I go to my safe place,
The sand in my feet,
The breeze in my hair,
The sun kissing my skin
The veil feels thin

All I see is you here.
Spread across the water
Spread across the sand,
the dirt,
and the trees.
I see a million memories at this creek,
Even though you have always been so mean to thee.

You have bled over everything,

Washed out any pigment I had left.
I just want to get back to me.
The one that Dances,
Laugh,
& Sings.

A lot of unlearning,
And reprogramming,
needs to take place
I'm not in a race,
just need to slow my pace,
thoughtwho knows how many days
It'll take.

Steady, I pave ahead
Purpose, I'm all in.
Walk the path with ease,
With grace.
I know I can't be replaced.
How could i ever forget you?
You will probably never deal with this,
Because you were never there.
Trapped in stagnant air.

I guess i was just someone there.
Someone to talk to,
did you ever try to look underneath?
when you look into my eyes..
your reflection is all you see.

But i see now.
How clear it is to me,
i gave you so much of my time.
You just took from me,
and left me empty.

a lesson, is what you are now.
You taught me,
No matter how much trying,
we are not meant to be.

you were just temporary.
Im sorry for you,
cause youll never find anyone like me.


-klarity