How real are they? These faded dreams
The line between
Anxiety and reality
twists
Like the knife I know
Was entered into me
Found in emails to doctors
I've forgotten I'd written.

You never forget the first time you scare a child with your white coat.

You never forget the first time you elicit CVA tenderness unexpectedly.

You never forget the first time you meet someone with ***.

You never forget the first time you have a trauma call for a motor vehicle accident or a gunshot wound.

You never forget the first time you comfort a patient who is crying because they don’t want to be in the hospital.

You never forget the first time you witness a patient and her family hear the words “You have cancer”.

You never forget the first baby you help deliver (you also never forget the mom).

You never forget the first time a patient admits they’ve attempted suicide in the past.

You never forget your first patient.

Being a medical student is a humbling experience.

I hope I never forget that either.

Paul, he likes his lighters and his spoon
“Taste that kerosene.” he offers
‘Nah, I’m cool.’

There are people running naked in the street
This one girl, she slipped
Her blood becoming a perfect illustration of a fractal as it mixed with the rain water
Snaking through the leaves
Trickling to the gutter
On its way to the sea
Lucky blood
I wish it was me

I hold the syringe up to the light
Double checking I got it right
And I wonder, in this moment, what you would think of me?

“So then” Paul slides down the wall to the floor
Legs spread in a V, he winks at me
Like a drunken ******* offering more
“What’s your poison?”

‘******. But don’t get excited Paul, that’s not what I’m here for.’

I expose his skin, and let the needle sink in

“You used to be such a good girl. Goody goody.”
He laughs from his spot on the floor
“Goody; such a weird word. But that’s what you were.”

I recap the needle, carefully now

"What happened to you, Goody? What?” He twitches and slides down more

‘The hospital would be more suited for you, ya know.'
I pack up his insulin, store it back in the fridge.

‘Okay Paul. I’ll be back in the morning. Try not to OD again.’

“Goody Goody.” He laughs up at me from his spot on the floor.
“Goody Goody, that’s what you were.”

History could hold
Clues to the mystery of
The mind and its way.

Take a moment to
Spend time in the memory
Of the day before.

How many ventilators can you buy for the price of an Aircraft Carrier?

Watch along the horizon line
Past the trees and you will find

Through the skies being installed
Every high and every fall

Cloaked until again recalled
Nature once again redrawn

Clear for all who look to see
Our collective mother’s ECG

Sitting in a waiting room with twenty other men,
All waiting for the good doctor to come; and then,
I notice, we’ve been waiting for half an hour;
Some worried sick, just sitting with no power
To help themselves or others in the room;
Just waiting; and although there’s no more room,
Another one enters. No! Sorry! A pair;
Yes! Most people come with companions who care;
Or, pretend to care, and seek relief here.
They say, “He’s always late. He has nothing to fear!
He is the great doctor!” But why is he late?!
Is he watching? Is he smiling at our fate?
Or, is he sleeping with some pretty goddess?
When are you going to come Mr. Flawless?!
Maybe I’m wrong, maybe I’m right; but if I’m right,
We are all waiting for him to ***, right?!
Forget it. This room makes illusions shatter;
All helpless, no relief; but, does it matter?

Keep listen, attentive all
Be helpful, keep up morale


Odd Fever, you feel a Cough
In your Throat, feeling Sour, Rough


Give defeat, to Pandemic
Keep distance, use tool n trick


Stay   at   home, to quarantine
Be helpful, to soul     refine


We solute, Philanthropist
Staff, Nurses, Doctors on List


Stay at home, Be Patriot
Play with kids, Feel bliss  a lot


Keep us safe, Bless us O' Lord
Keep us safe, Bless us O' Lord