Is a thing with feathers
And that is what terrified me
Who put feathers on the thing
I am always most worried will fly away.
I spend my whole life waiting
for the other shoe to drop.
I agonize the moment
For the moment has to stop.
I fear the coming evening
And the certainty of night,
I have no choice but courage
When the biggest fear is fright.
I give you permission
to write that poem
even if it really isn't all that good
to tell that joke
even if you always mess up the punchline
to wear that outfit
even if those boots really don't go
to feel proud of yourself
even if you're only scraping by
to love yourself
even if you acknowledge your shortcomings
to accept yourself
even if you've told yourself that
everyone who respects you does so because they don't know everything
to be imperfect
even if you dream of being someone so great and feel like you're so small
I give you permission
to be a poem
even if it won't be a very good one.
You don't have to be perfect to be deserving of love. Give yourself permission to love yourself even if you aren't who you know you could be.
I live in split reality
And wait with anxious, twisting hands
For someone to say they understand.
Straddling two worlds is exhausting. "Sick me" wants compassion and flexibility, "healthy me" wants independence and the same high standards from others. Juggling both identities is a daily challenge.
So heavy and yet so fragile
Each question crashing on the other
The missing piece remains elusive
Oh, not too bad
(I haven't slept)
Y'know, on and off
(I mean this week I haven't wept)
It used to be worse
(I'm not in despair)
I'm holding up
(I won't let myself go there).
Some days are hard
(I feel so drained)
I think everyone's struggling
(I've numbed the pain)
Yeah, I'm okay
(I can't keep pace)
Thanks, I'm alright
(I miss my okay place).
Sometimes this world is a little too big,
Sometimes the day is a little too long,
Sometimes the room is a little too loud,
Sometimes the words are a little too wrong.
Today all the walls were a little too small,
Today when you said you were scared to go home.
Today when you could have just buckled and fell,
Today when you said that you'd face it alone.
Tonight will be phone calls.
Tonight will be protective services.
Tonight will be investigations into the people who are supposed to love you and keep you safe.
Today you are 18.
Maybe tomorrow will be sunny.