My ambitions had gone the way of the jet stream
High up and far away from me

I eventually felt the need to retrieve my absent cause
Because what's lost can be found

The scent of what was still lingered
So like a hound I set out
Hot on the trail of runaway dreams

I traveled far and came face to face with a fact
What's is doesn't have to be
I had been trapped in my own false reality
I hadn't lost my ambition
It was hidden inbetween the lines of self loathing I wrote and read to myself over and over

What is lost can be found
What is doesn't have to be
And what is written can always be rewritten

Sometimes it comes and I see it
and at Times it doesn't
I wait for it like I wait
for phone calls and text messages
and When it comes it comes
with all this pain
I can't endure it
Starts from my feets feeling weak
to my back feeling like it's broken  
to my ***** feeling so swollen
to red dots all over my body
mixed with mood swings hating
everything
and everyone around me
makes me wonder at times
why I was a women But yet again
it has its blessings For only
a women can take all that pain.

My hair is as curvy
as my body.
Today I straightened
everything out.
I don't think straight suits me

When you are born
with hair this wild
you shouldn't ever
try to tame it.
Do what comes naturally

There is no point
in trying to straighten
something that was meant
to be anything but.
As long as it is you

I say: Do It

and as i let me palms ease open and you fly away to whatever planet youre off to again, i find a part of me running back. cart wheeling and dancing and screaming i've always loved you and you were always more than what you settled for. i've found a part of myself that cant contain its excitement to start new, to start fresh, to be whoever the **** i want to be. to kiss a stranger to have a lover who actually would fall in love with all my little flaws and mistakes and not silently criticize anything that floated in my brain. welcome home happiness, goodmorning freedom.

Lets set sail
To the great unknown,
Where the future can change
And the present can unfold.
Lets set sail
To our grand denial,
Let us live another day,
Life is better when its vile.
Lets set sail
to the REAL unknown,
Where its better when you sink,
Than it is to stay afloat.
Lets set sail,
To our greater knowledge,
For there would be no boat,
If the shore was always by us.
Lets set sail,
Far far away,
So we can learn to survive,
There is no other way.
Lets set sail,
Let us learn,
Let us fail,
Lets. set. sail.

Erase those sad eyes and draw new ones or baby you can't come
Forget the past and move on
Break it down
Act like it didn't happen
Those embarrassing days and fun ones
They werent real
Really?
Now I don't think I can remember
What you said to me
And I don't remember what I wore yesterday just that I wore it
And if you were wondering how I'm doing well I'd say I'm doing just fine but we all know that's a lie
On this earth we all pretend to be something were not
We pretend to be good
we act like we're enough but is anyone ever just enough?
I'm sorry if my questions are annoying you but hold on
I've got many more.
Why are we keeping score?
You are not better than me and I am not better than you
stop feeling blue
Chin up little one
Why are the little ones depressed and dying?
Why are they always crying
Beautiful people we are
no matter how big the scar
So stop scaring Me with these threats of death
stop slicing open your skin your
life is about to begin
get ready to be in love and love you haven't done
not yet
And that's what I don't get
Why do you care what they say when they don't love you and they aren't in love with you
Don't be just yourself
strive to be the best you that you can be
Reach for what you want
take who you want to be with
and if they don't want to be with you then maybe it's not meant to be...