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Ash Jul 27
I was told I was fat.
Shamed for my body, called names and all that.
I learnt to hate myself by them at that time.
They made me feel like being a little curvy was a crime.
So I started working on getting thinner, not for health or fitness though.
But because I thought that way I would be loved and accepted more.
I finally did become slimmer and i was happy.
I slowly started to regain the confidence that they had mercilessly stolen from me.
And just as it started getting a tad bit better, I was shamed for being short.
Couldn't they just let me live my life in peace or what?!
They crushed the little confidence i had gotten back.
Again in their stupid circle of high expectations and "physical beauty is true beauty" I was trapped.
I worked on getting taller everyday.
Crying myself to sleep when nothing worked at the end of the day.
And so they taught me time and time again to hate my body.
And I know I did, I am so sorry.
They said my acne was **** and it needed to be hidden.
Going anywhere without makeup or not dressing girly enough was forbidden.
"No do not sit like that, talk like this, wear this not that, always smile."
They said these horrible things and silly me, I actually listened for a while.
But one day I decided I did not care.
So what if I didn't have what they called the "perfect figure" or the nicest hair?
I loved myself and that was it.
I was beautiful whether or not they believed it.
It was not an easy fight.
But I think I did alright.
They still say things all the time.
But I've grown to listen to just one voice, mine.
If you've ever felt this way, or been shamed and feel insecure, or told you're not good or pretty enough just know you're not alone. But you are beautiful and deserve all the happiness and love. On the bad days remember you are enough and absolute and it will all pass. You don't deserve to be made to feel bad about your body ever. Love yourself and be yourself always.
Ash Jul 10
When she looked in the mirror all she saw were words like ****, not good enough, fat.
I silently cursed them for labelling her things like that.
Because of them she didn't think she could be loved.
Because of them she cried for hours until no more tears could come.
She didn't see how beautiful she was.
The most incredible despite the flaws.
She didn't realise she needn't change.
For I had fallen for her anyway.
I knew I loved her more than she ever loved herself.
She despised herself actually, thinking she was worthless.
How would I ever show her I loved her more than this whole world?
They made sure she hated herself so much that she wouldn't even believe my words.
But more than showing her I loved her more than anyone else.
I wish I could show her how to love her own self.
And then I inhaled,
A deep earth quaking breath.
And exhaled
With an earth shattering roar!
Fire poured from my lips,
Smoke billowed from my nose.
I was no ones little lamb anymore!
Uun B Jun 29
My dear girls and boys,

Use my eyes as your mirror
See yourself like I do,
Kind, caring and courageous.

Tumble down the impenetrable wall you have built
around your feelings and emotions
Leave all the dark shadows behind in a Tokyo skyscraper
Fill your heart with tenderness and amusement
Feel the summer sun warm on your shoulders
Become your happiness
Become your hero.

As days go by,
You will smile more frequently and
Laugh more freely
Sparks will flash in your eyes and heart, and will say
‘This is going to be amazing’

It is you being you, after all.

2019.06.24

Uun B.
Ash Jun 28
They say be skinny but not too skinny. They say be girly and lady like, for that is pretty.
They say be curvy but only in the right places.
They say always have a smile on your faces.
Who made such rules?
Who were these people so cruel?
Why can't I just be me?
Slowly in my head the truth starts to creep.
They too were never accepted for who they were.
They too were shamed for every freckle, every curve.
It is not their fault entirely, now I see.
They just don't want us to face the hate they had to feel.
In the process of getting the world to like us though, we started hating our own bodies.
Taught to be somebody's instead of somebodies.
Is it alright that they won't let us be ourselves?
Shouldn't they know better since they've been through it themselves?
The world before them changed them, got into their head.
But we must not give in, or the real us will be dead.
Marina Jun 27
To be honest, is to be kind
But my kindness can be mistaken by love
Emily Jun 18
We’re all human,
made from the same.
Too tall, short, fat or thin.
We’re all something.
The label of beauty,
Given out much too rarely,
applies to everyone, everyone.
Your imperfections, perfect.
To me.
Just a reminder that you are all beautiful:)
Take care of yourself by choosing to heal
and stop desperately searching for missing links.
It’s okay to finally open the gates and let yourself feel
because loving yourself might be easier than you think.

Cook yourself your all-time favorite meal
or spend the extra twenty minutes soaking in the bathtub.
Paint your nails your favorite shade of teal
and start building your collection of movie ticket stubs.

Run in the neighborhood until your legs start shaking,
jam out to Brian May’s guitar and Freddie Mercury’s voice,
or dive into a Nicholas Sparks novel so heartbreaking
that it almost makes you wonder if you made the right choice.

Let people in without worrying about when they’ll leave
and laugh without hesitation and smile like never before.
Make an appointment for an addition to that tattoo sleeve
and plan a weekend getaway to the nearest sea shore.

Catch up on your favorite television shows
while holding a pint of Pecan Praline Ice Cream.
Dance with strangers until all of the bars close
with tequila pulsing through your bloodstream.

The beauty behind self-nurture and self-care
is that you end up pulling happiness from within.
At the end of the day, instead of seeking comfort elsewhere,
you’ll finally feel loved and be comfortable in your own skin.
Ash Jun 10
They have pressurized girls into feeling beautiful always.
"Chin up, makeup on, be poised and smile your best even on the bad days."
In a world where being pretty is all there is.
Dare to be different, dare to take that risk.
Be more than merely beautiful.
Be kind, be compassionate, be helpful, and respectful.
Be sensitive, be brave, be shy, be tough.
Don't think that just being beautiful is enough.
Be a rebel, be a fighter, break all the rules, don't give a ****.
Be manly, be girly, be all you can.
Be the ******* fire, be passionate, be a dreamer.
Be weird, go crazy, choose love, be a lover.
Be the fierce hurricane if you want to.
A gentle, slow and soft drizzle works too.
Don't feel restrained or constricted ever.
Go wild, live your life like you've never.
I hope you see that there are things beyond beautiful too.
And one of them darling, is you.
She was a woman of many disguises
with social masks of all shapes and sizes.
Certain groups called for  a different her,
to a point where her true identity became a blur.

Around some, she’d be obnoxious and loud,
but with others, quiet with her head in the clouds.
Around specific friends, she was wild and care free.
Around others, she made choices a bit more cautiously.

She got used to pretending to be someone she’s not
and masks became more comfortable she thought.
But at the end of the day alone in the mirror,
the problem suddenly became a lot clearer.

She changed herself so much to match those around her
that the reflection staring back was a complete stranger.
She cared way too much about the opinion of others
and her people pleasing nature made her feel smothered.

She was scared to open up and let those walls down
in fear of rejection or them not sticking around.  
She was hurt badly by being so vulnerable once
so she closed up her heart and locked it for months.

But things changed in her when she met him
and for some reason, he made her world a little less dim.
He took the feelings of ugliness and unworthiness away
and even after some of her true colors shined, he stayed.

He learned things about her that no one else knew
and the walls crumbled down as he worked his way through.
Slowly, her shell reopened and her inner glow returned
after years of love leaving her feeling tired and burned.

The social chameleon in her is now dead, buried, and full of rot.
She loves herself now, inside and out, whether others do or not.
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