In the forest late one summer day,
between the trees and prams,
a sweet girl whistled a small tune
that made the rabbits dance.
They danced and hopped and frinked about
and it was all quite nice
until the Wankerschmacken came
and brought a plague of Braifs.
The Braifs, they danced and frinked as well
and grew and grew in size
until they grew to twelve feet tall
much to the girl’s surprise.
The Wankerschmacken watched with glee,
with joyous hate and hunger,
the rabbits, the girl, they were confused
as they stared down the Schmacken’s flanger.
The flanger was his mouth, of course,
filled with teeth like daggers,
and the beast lunged after the poor girl
who through the forest yaggered.
She yaggered and ran and over a root
she suddenly fell and cried;
The Wankerschmacken took his chance
and this is how she died:
The monster opened its flanger large,
its throat was charcoal black;
A blue tongue stretched and grabbed the girl
and hurled her into its depths.
She fell for an eternity,
she seemed to fall for years;
And in its stomach she cried and cried
and drowned in her own tears.
A century has come and gone
since this cold-blooded ****
but if you put your ear to the woods
you can hear the Schmacken still.
It snores and roars deep in its sleep;
Can you smell its rotten breath?
but once you do it is too late –
You will die a vicious death.
A nonsense ballad heavily inspired by Carroll's "Jabberwocky", one of my all-time favorite poems.
