Everyone was out being jolly and happy
I sat there in living my biggest fear
Being completely alone with no one willing to lend an ear
Feeling like I have lost everything
All I had were my thoughts and my own ears
Telling myself I let down my family and peers
Letting her get away was my biggest mistake I ever made
She was with a guy that didn't deserve to see her tears
Seeing her everyday was a living nightmare
Because I couldn't take away her hidden tears
Everyday I tried my hardest to shovel my feelings into a shallow grave
Just to have them resurface by the water from my own tears
Everyday was a nightmare
I was bleeding internally while being kick down by people
That I thought actually cared
I tried my hardest to hold back my tears
But that night I cried for the first time out of feeling completely alone
Asking myself what could've I done
Why am I the one crying these tears I never deserved
Why am I so alone when all I try to do is bring joy to the world
I was mourning my own death for so long I forgot how to live
I continued walking forward in this nightmarish state
I was doing everything to make myself proud just to see light
In such a dimly lit place in my mind
What a dreary and dreadful nightmare I was living
But something reached out and caught me
One day my dreams were no longer about loneliness or fear
I looked back at all those nightmares and I saw a different version of me
I climbed mountains without realizing it
I killed many demons that were so much bigger than me
I was started feeling light and cherished
Cherished by my peers
Cherished by my family
Cherished by my friends
Cherished by her
Now I am scared to wake up because everything feels like a dream
This poem starts out about how I felt on January 1st, 2017 and goes through all the days that proceeded it up until now.
