those beautiful eyelids of yours
darkened by days of weariness
when our eyes met
sparks flew out of control
as the anguish beneath us
reconstructed

pages of adventures followed
the scribbles
the interlocks of legs and fingers
clinging onto me
afraid yet secure

12 days, XII
rapid pace, as i wheeze and heave
you smiled
assuring everything is fine
lips on lips
we will make through this

path of memories and chatters
relishing our experiences
coffee, tea, soup
underdogs of social circles
pondering upon
our similar circumstances

guitar and piano
greenhorn, beginner
rollercoaster melodies
limits as high they were
couldn’t salvage us

12 days, XII
12 divide by 3
that’s how long we lasted
staring into the streetlights
trying to touch you
6 strings, soaked

as i write this in the time of XII
keys and strings
they never go well
sober is my name
i’m madly drunk in love
with you, yet
we were not meant to be.

There are trillions of stars
Whose lights still shine
Way after it's death
The light travels on forever
But what happens when it doesn't?
What happens if stars and light are a figment of our imagination?
What if we only see the light of many stars before
Because of the lives we've known
Of those who come and go?
Preexisting in the complex mind of our own beings
Subconsciously knowing
We're bound to be part of the sky
Would that be the afterlife of Heaven and the Great Unknown?

Everywhere I come from,
Everywhere I go;
I am a part of all that I have met,
And all those I've been with
are a part of me.

i am chewing my nails to the bone.

bound to the routine of growing old.

I was blank
But you covered me with sunsets and
Northern lights.
You showed me off to the world as
Your treasure.

As the colors faded,
So did your façade.
You held your paintbrush against my skin,
Coloring me
With black and blue hues,
Until the fumes knocked me out.

When the paint began to peel,
You scraped at my remains
Forcing me to feel
Your hands
On me again,
Until you were satisfied
With your work.

I have no blank spaces left
Except for the one within.

But how does a masterpiece
Leave her master?

why am i up at 1:41AM
Thinking about someone
Who is probably cuddled in a bun
On the phone with someone
Laughing
Giggling
Blushing
And have no idea what i'm doing

your words are like ink bleeding into my skin and i think they seeped too deep because now i can still feel you under my skin making a home in my veins.
“you’re beautiful” doesn’t mean a thing anymore, i buried myself so deep in you that before i knew it i was 6 feet under blank spaces, words unsaid and empty “i love you’s”.
I swear i will spend the rest of my life picking you off my skin.
That day you told me “i know i said this was a mistake i just wish you didn’t look at me feeling like one”

Scribble me out in doubts and unfinished thoughts until you’ve made a mess of me, until there’s nothing left of who i was