I still long to go to California,
I want to see that place.
The jellyfish filled space in Monterey
I want to touch the tank's glass
and see the sea nettles up close.
I want to be there
and know that I'm home.

I lay in bed, drained
I hear the thunder
preparing us all
for the rain.

I look at my wall,
at the Jellyfish that hang.
My heart flutters and I smile
as I remember who is always by my side.

Sinking...
deep into the dark blue ocean.
I see myself slowly disappearing.
When the waters become this unclear,
when I feel scared, you're my Atolla.
My georgeous light in this sea of darkness.

The ocean,
I've only seen it once in my life
I've touched the world, once,
that holds the most beautiful creatures...
The ones who make me feel something
that I wish I could feel all the time.
These creatures that never
make me cry for the wrong reasons.
They're beautiful and helpless
I'm not sure if they can think or imagine
but if they could I'd want them to know
they mean more than they'll ever know, **to me.

Even if the golden jellyfish are disappearing
I'll always have one with me.
The best one out of them all,
has never left or let me fall.
If I sank deep enough before,
their lake would've consumed me;
left me poisoned and faded.
but with him I'm unafraid
I'll drown in his arms
before I worry about pointless things.

The jellyfish you drew
that are on my wall keep moving.
They float higher and higher
until they're on the ceiling, above me.
I can't stop thinking about you.

who told you
you were not beautiful?

does that mean
not worthy of their time?

but anyway
they stated as such

if anything
their actions proved otherwise

but no matter
I’m trying not to mind

that I was never real
figment of imagination

whatever you cast me
I betrayed love

and cast heroes into new moons
beached jellyfish

I’m learning to gather bones
painting a canvas

instead of
reading newsprint

sculpture of messy clay
ultimate opus

good gold
honest trinket

bees’ honey
I recognize my self

ageless blue
flame

in all that is
ugly

small practice
sunburst navel design