Pain drains you every day,
You try to fight.
The wounds of yesterday;
Still hurt at night.
You feel lost in darkness
Grief consumes you
And so does madness.
No light to look up to,
You sink in despair
You tell yourself time and again;
"Life is not fair."
"Life is not fair."

Well then, let us make it fair.
Take my hand
Take the light that I share.
Call me your friend.

I understand how you feel
Wounds never truly heal.
Don't suffer in silence and hide your tears;
Don't submit yourself to your fears.

Yes, life is not fair.
But, don't give up and take this light I share.
As much as I can, I will help you until the end.
After all, I am your friend.











Tanay Sengupta, Copyright © 2018.
All Rights Reserved

Lights off,
Laying in my cell ,
Mind swirling around you,
How did I get back to this,

Plagued by my past,
Can't move forward,
Cause I can't get out this cell,
If i do i just come back for longer,

The past keeps me cold,
and guarded,
I can't help it,
Just how it be,

Babe I am sorry,
You fell for lowlife,
Babe I am sorry,
you fell in love with a lost soul ...

Lost inside my thoughts at night, silence is muted by the noise of my own mind. A deafening
silence.
Life and death, so fragile, such short moments. Why do we live by them? Time itself is
defined by life and death. By the rise and fall of the sun everyday.
How to define this I am going through right now? I don't feel alive nor dead. Time does not
seem to exist here and now, as the entire known world to me.
Like a caterpillar, trapped inside a cocoon, morphing myself to a butterfly, unaware of the
changes on the outside, of the perils awaiting for her on the outside as she gets out in the
search of the prettiest flowers on the path that leads to her partner, having to guess what
way to go.
Will I emerge as a butterfly or as a moth? Can one choose? Defined by genetics, sure. But
that does not apply here. Self awareness and focus are probably the defining factors in this
case. And if so, I shall emerge out of my cocoon as a beautiful Monarch, to cross the globe
after my soulmate, in a difficult but rewarding journey. Facing all forces of nature to find her,
and to finally be with her to the end of my short existence.
I don't want to leave this capsule as a moth, to hide in the shades and wonder through the
night. I want to emerge as one of her kind, a beautifully delicately coloured butterfly glowing
and reflecting every ray of sunlight that finds her delicate silklike wings.

Light is now the measure of time
No clocks, watches, cell phones
All man made machinery are of no use
Civilization collapses within these walls
Treated like cattle, slowly losing grasp of civilized habits.
Grows inside anyone here a primal state.
In fear of taking the path to a medieval time
I lock myself inside my own utopia.
Like cavemen, hiding in a cave, crafting instruments out of pieces of bones,
Gathered around fires, playing games, measuring forces to take the alpha male position.
Why don’t I adapt? Have I gone too far down the yellow brick road? Should I have not tasted of the apple?
I won’t settle for less than the world. They seem to know not beyond the cave we live in.
Where has time gone? It seems to be going backwards
At a speed greater than the one of thoughts.
Is this an utopian apocalyptic future, or am I back to the stone age?

Lost between words, buried by thoughts.
Tonight the distiller is dripping moonshine I drown my sorrows in.
The smoke of ****** marijuana mixed with tobacco takes over the gallery.
A handful of souls still awake. One thing in common we all have, the dream of freedom.
Killers, robbers, dealers, here one is no different than the next.
All government merchandise.
With the late hours of the night comes the silence.
As silence takes over, the hypnotic sound of the moonshine dripping from the distiller take one’s thoughts on a journey deep inside the mind.
Little by little the bottle fills up as the mind empties.
It is time the ghosts visit. Time to leave this place with them.
Cruising the known world in my mind. To be with the loved ones, at least on my imagination.
They seem to show up in waves. She is usually the first one. We talk, we dance, take long walks, but is never enough.
There is so much to know about her still.
Then come the friends, family. Eventually some actual ghosts even.
Slowly the moonshine and the writing give place to sleep.
The chance of meeting her in my dreams, moonshine inebriated.

One more day, one night less. Memories seem to fade along with the sands of time. Paper and pen run scarce as my thoughts flow through them, flushing away all thoughts not worth the ink. Cards flying, dices rolling, but the clock hands don’t seem to spin.
Standing inside these walls while my mind drifts outside. Like a crow, through the bars and over the walls I travel. I can go anywhere, but there is no place I rather fly to than a place my mind needs yet to know. From all the places I’ve been to, all the people known to me, my heart always takes me to the same person. But where do we meet? There are not enough shared memories to fill this void, so every night a new one is created. Every night I take her to visit my own favourite time and places, in the hope that one day I can actually show her the world and create our own memories. But will she go? Am I worthy of this blessing? One can only hope, so that turned into a routine.
Life as is, reduced to a bi-modal state, echoing over two desires. The one where I am freed from the restraints on this place and the one where I get restrained in her arms. The latter one, true freedom.

The full moon makes a shiny appearance, briefly, through the bars.
Not for more than five minutes she dances for me. Not for more than a glance, but enough for her face to again haunt my thoughts.
Darkness takes over the sky from where I stand, once again. But the mere faded memory of her light populates my thoughts with a glow of hope and joy. Sadness mixes with this joy, tears turn into courage when she smiles at me, her name echoes with every rhyming word, her face shows up on every shade, every single star brings back memories of her eyes.
Sleep now seems like my only ticket to be with her, so again I lay with none but my memories, hoping for her to visit my dreams.
Night has been my best companion. Alone, left with my thoughts and nothing else. Now I can be myself, can at last meet my beloved again. She awaits me in the realm of my dreams.
Time spent these days seem like a looping nightmare, and when finally asleep is when really I am alive and back in reality. Daytime feels a coma-like state.
I shall leap out of these bars and walls one day and never allow myself to daydream like this again, and my only warranty is that she will be with me, asleep or awake.

A judge ordered me to pay my ex-wife alimony.
I told him that his ruling was a bunch of baloney.
I refused to pay her anything because while we were married, she cheated.
She broke her wedding vows, it was a shameful way for me to be treated.
When I refused to pay alimony, the judge sent me to jail.
I've been ***** ten times by the man who shares  my cell.
It was the principle of the thing, that's why I refused to pay.
My cellmate is about to violate me again, I've had better days.
I hope a cop or prison guard can hear me as I begin to shout.
I'll pay my ex-wife whatever she wants if they'll let me out.

Until you've been arrested
And spent endless days in jail
And walked a hundred miles
Without ever leaving your cell
Until you've lost your family
And you're utterly alone
You try to seek comfort
Realizing it was left at home
Until you've faced the judge
And entered your guilty plea
And you've heard the words of judgement
That you won't be going free
Until your days turn into months
And months turn into years
You lie awake at night
Shedding endless tears
Until you've lost all hope
And every dream you ever had
You fight to keep your sanity
And fear that you'll go mad
Until you've gone through all these things
And lost all human will
How can you look at me and say
You know just how I feel?