We will miss you
And that’s okay.
We said we’d win
Whatever it takes.

For the good of the world
You had to jump.
We all know that,
Yet it still cuts.

Are you happy there?
Do you know we won?
And what about him?
Do you know what he’s done?

You both together
Are the reason we won.
You jumped, he snapped.
It worked, but you’re gone.

-Relax
-Calm,be calm young one

I heard the strangers voice, and having no frame of  reference with which to originate myself within my surroundings, I readily took heed to these soothing words. Only to soon find my senses entirely overwhelmed as my mind and my body caught up to each other at the same moment. Feeling the most unusually bizarre sensation of having been just previously located fully within my mind. Panic set in as I found myself naked on some distant planet who's surface was composed disproportionately of foose; extremely fine grained sand. The only feature that stood out in any way was the stump of an obviously dead tree. The stranger ,who I realised was actually seated crossed legged and floating some 6 - 8 feet above the barren surface of the desolate moonscape. He continued to re-insure me of my safety and I was in no danger. I had started to hyperventilate and grew ever so close to losing my vision .When the stranger reminded me that breathing was not necessary in the journey we were  sharing and was he was going stay with me to ensure my trust guarantee, my return to my  body I had  known prior to this remarkable experience.

No one will truly listen... Everything I want to say or feel out loud will get me locked up in an institution. It's unfair. I can't speak without fear of someone deciding for me that I should be locked up. Don't tell me you know better than me and don't ******* tell me that you know what's best for me. You aren't in charge, you don't get to decide. If that means I have to be suicidal in secret then so ******* be it.


-t.s.

****** over it all.
Don't even give a **** anymore.
**** everything.
*******.
**** it.
Bored, depressed, hopeless, toxic.
Empty, numb, cold, alone.
**** Astrology, **** Spirituality, **** Love, and **** him.
Everything I loved, is long gone.
I don't give a **** anymore.
I feel stupid, worthless, shameful, sad.
No motivation, no will, no energy, no self love.
Just loathe, feelings of helplessness, drained, exhausted.

One day you’ll get tired of me.
The chase will me done,
I won’t tag and run
for the chase is over and won.

I feel your arm around me,
like the skin in my teeth
the cold sheets beneath
and the water just out of my reach.

Is it only to me you share this laugh?
Brighten your smile,
just for a while—
ignore the taste of bile!

When you done with tag you’ll toss me aside,
but my heart flutters,
soaked breath stutters,
And my exhale mutters—

“I’ll love you when I’m sober.”