Four Walls

Four walls,
a small shrinking world,
he stares,
silent, solitary,
shadows speaking,
when nobody will,
and where
        and where
                and where,

         is God?

James E. Roethlein copyright 2021

isolation is a redly glowing wolf
it is too close to me, get away
how can i believe in myself?
the night swallows self-confidence

i am waiting for an angel sent by
the tall and wise heralds of my fate
they are riding the train of future
i don't know how to hop on, no clue

eden's sounds are distracting me
but in her eyes i can see where my train
is supposed to stop and to arrive
ancient existences are floodding her pupil

they stem from a place called nirvana
it is the deep core of a human being's soul
light suffuses their shape, goldly shining
they fight against the demons of our world

and as the years passing by, they become
our nostalgic memories and our sentiment
i want to be there for eden, protecting her
the red wolf will not come between us

The once sunny days
are replaced with the rainy
as wet as tears on my face

your infectious laugh
fills my ears
so desperately
until I can’t hear nothing more
than a faded memory

and the pictures on my phone
have been looked at
more than the work on my desk

your texts
aren’t as memorable
as the seconds of happiness
i squeezed out of us
like a sponge

and the time we spend
isn’t as fun
when we’re six feet apart

Nobody knows what
I feel inside
Because it is a pool of memories
Too deep to swim in
Beyond consolation

Nobody knows the
Pain I deal with daily
Its like a card game I'm addicted to
And a losing one played by fools
Beyond encouragement

Nobody knows the hurt
I carry with me
Its a glass pane that has shattered
And the broken edges have carved out a piece of me
Beyond recognition

Nobody knows the regret
I pull like dead weight
Its as heavy as the sky on earth
It is always hovering over my head
Beyond reconciliation

Such is isolation
Inescapable
Complete.