Sunlight
Voices, speaking
Chit-chat and distant quarreling
My dogs ecstatic
To see and smell me-
I was awake.

Scattered and overwhelming thoughts
I usually never have time for them;
I allow a thought for a minute or two
Breathing in slowly,
Bathing in them deeply
Bittersweet, in confrontation and in fear.

A pass of split-second; and
I let it go
Absent any resolve,
Awake.

I make myself a glass of water
Neither warm nor cold
My blank canvas for the day
A longing for its neutral calmness
It is only in that first glass that I taste the pure
Calm.

When my soul's just half awake
The colors at its brightest
The wind at its lightest
My heart at its quietest
It was the only time apart from slumber
That my mind finds genuine rest

I only had a glass.

To be here as I am
I had to be there as I was
a perpetual dreamer
sometimes a singer,
but often a screamer
my ever-fleeting memory
of past life
feels like pollen in the beehive,
was I always the same
or just another empty name?
maybe asking questions
just made me mad,
as there were
days I've been sad
days I've been glad,
living was always the grey area
between good and bad.

You try to trace
All your feelings
“Where’d they go?”

It’s hard to be brave
Treading, everywhere
Knowing only what you know-

Scared,
For you just wouldn’t know
Just how much things matter
To them

You say
What matters to me is what matters;
That’ll be enough!
You say that whilst feeling the cold pass through the sheer cloak of confidence you are wearing

Scared-
For you just wouldn’t know
Just how much things matter
To them