Every move I make feels as though I leave my skin behind,
Stripped raw and left to be criticized.
Every word she speaks drives to my core to brand it
And reminds me of her brilliance.
I can't readily command it
But without her I would feel nothing.

This is a daily reminder
That he doesn't love you
Like he used too,
And he can fall asleep
Under the shining stars
Without once imagining your smile,
And he can drive around
At 4am
And you wouldn't even come to mind,
And he can lay in the bed
You used to lay in
And forget all about your shape,
And he can dream of things
That actually matter
Rather than your stupid apologies
And I miss you's.
This is a daily reminder
That he doesn't love you anymore
And he never will.

The people who see
me for me
don't like it and would rather i be
Someone who is not me
and that i'd prefer to be.

lives burn bright
and die out

some are remembered
and some forgotten

each light is precious and unique
in the end which lights are remembered is
insignificant

I curl up
And allow my skin to absorb
The rare rays of
Summer sunshine
I read beautiful words
That express how I feel
Better than I ever could
Like the sun
Everything, everyone shines brighter
Better than I ever could
I always feel so
Insignificant.

She posts a comment,
Your name
With a smiley face next to it.

I can hear my heart plummet
To the bottom of my stomach,
Disrupting the digestion taking place there,

I feel the vile
Trying to creep its way back up.
Rejecting the news
Its being forced to sort through.

My heart.
I thought it had gotten better,
I thought it was able to digest
This kind of information now
With ease.
Like a taste it was forced to acquire.

I thought it had gotten use to this,
That it had learned how to hold
This sort of thing down.

After the first time
When I had seen your ex post on your wall
She missed you,

Every time you added a new ******* facebook
After a night out
I was no longer invited to.

I thought I had gotten use to it
After you told me you only ever wanted to be friends.
But here I am,

My heart plummeting to my stomach
Trying to force itself to digest this comment
And the plethora of information it holds.

I’m no longer a friend.
No longer someone you invite out.
I hold you back.

When you have a bad day
You flock to one of the many girls
Whom you've accepted into your life
Over the past month
Never to me.

Only hearing from you when no one else wants to go out.
I’m no longer on your invitation list
For your Thursday nights out to karaoke.
I’m not longer significant.

This information is not something
My heart, or mind, or stomach
Can digest.
Trying to reject it,
while I keep trying to force it down.

To you.
I no longer matter.

Elegant necklaces never hugged her soft neck
Fingers were never adorned by fancy rings
A crown never rested on top of her hand
But, regal was she

A frame which never nestled on a velvet throne
Hands never touched a sacred scepter
The finest fabrics never worshipped her skin
But, regal was she

Her feet never walked on a grand castle
Never had the servants, soldiers, countrymen bowed in her presence
A name never honored by anyone
But, regal was she

Dressed in homely clothes
Immaculate beauty concealed by the dark
An existence made from gold
She was the queen of my heart



If they only knew.