Let me tell you a secret nobody knows

I'm insecure, I hate myself, I don't see myself pretty, I'm a mess
Mess up in the head
Standing in front of you, my mind keeps on running and running and running away
From logic and reason I wish I have now

I'm under this great pressure I made myself
I can't lift it up, it just keep on, in on, in on crashing every faith in myself
and chain every part of me
Blinding my eyes
Sealing my mouth
Killing me slowly inside
And I can't breath seeing my reflection in the mirror
I'm sick of it

I keep on saying, I keep on screaming
I keep on crying, I keep on wishing
I keep on praying to be like them
but even the shooting star can't change that

How do you run from what's in your head?

I can't free myself from my insecurities
I'm embarrassed, I've become a mess, I've become a hater
It keeps on destroying myself inside
and I can't take it out of my mind

Every second, every minute, every moment of my life
Is slowly becoming something my jealousy made
I started to hate myself
I started to hate the people I'm jealous of

Because I want to be like them  
Pretty, Confident, Intelligent, Proud and Shinning
Everything I ever wanted, but I can never be like them, I can never be them
I'm like an unfit puzzle piece of the society I want to fit in

My jealousy, my insecurities made me into someone I despise
Hatred for myself runs in my veins
Everything I stand for just disappeared into the oblivion
like bubbles disappearing  into the thin air

And I'm becoming trap in my own twisted world without realizing it
As it drowns me, pulling me with its current to the darkness of my tainted mind
Its just a matter of time I might breakdown

Everyday I keep on telling myself be strong, be strong, be strong
stop being insecure, but I don't have the strength to do it
I don't have the courage to tell it to my friends, to my family
I'm dying inside- I want them to see through me
and when I lie - I'm fine they'll believe it without a doubt

I want to share it to the world, but I can't help myself to lie, to push everyone away - I've become a fool
I know it sounds crazy, I myself don't know why
I just want people to realize I need help without me telling them

I want them to save me from my own tainted mind full of insecurities

I want you to save me from my own tainted mind full of insecurities

Can you do it?
Because I can't.

Her bones are breaking
Under the weight of heavy
Insecurities

I'm a magnifying glass
Amplifying all the little things
I don't like about myself
You can tell that I'm being over dramatic
But do you understand
What it's like inside my head
To overthink anything about everything
And each word I tell
Move I make
It's waiting for me
To take me
To break me
In incomplete

Sentí odio en mi corazón
No por nadie ...
Pero odiaba todo que yo era
Todo de mi
I am .
Insecure... insecure about everything
My body. My weight. My face. My personality.
It’s as if I’m trying to force myself to change into someone else ... and I’m failing.
The tunnels went dark for me and I find the light for others.
But why can’t I do the same for me ? Why can’t I find one single piece of perfection in myself?
You learn to hate who you are from listening to all the negative things you were told.
You let that be writtten all over your body and all you can see is all the words that have hurt you.
But the people who love you don’t understand your insecurities because they see no flaws.. why is that we can’t have the eyes of the people that sees us beautiful.
Beauty within, beauty covering us externally.
Let it be a moment ... just so we can learn to love ourselves.
So we don’t have to feel the way we do .
Because not even the words of an attractive guy or girl can cure our hearts.
The heart has to be healed.
And the only way for our insecurities to go away is by believing in ourselves and loving ourselves.
So let it be a lesson, you are beautiful oppose to what you think about yourself.