Sweet sweet nectar of surrender
Of arriving home
Of peace
Of a nervous system coming to rest
Of hot tears that anoint and wash clean
That hold close the little one
Serious in her purple jacket
Beautiful
And so alone
Never inside
But outside
In a barren land
Of not being understood
Those big eyes
Taking it all in
Those big serious soulful eyes
That can now rest
Can now turn within
She could not stand the harshness
The discord
The loudness
The ugliness
The vulgarity
She wanted to vanish
From those lunch tables
It disgusted every part of her
That needed beauty
Harmony
Quiet
She needed peaceful gentle holding and seeing
For her sensitivity to be noticed
To be cupped like a butter cup
Softly, gently
Allowing the sun to bathe her in its golden rays
Her life has been a journey to those rays
Those nourishing rays
The warmth of the sun
The simplicity of alone
Of peaceful quiet and sweet surrender
Yes darling yes
Her exile was her becoming

Those elastic hands
having but coupled a river of tears
and wisps of yielding smoke
to begin with
a life
unknown and unblinking
like a pair of dead eyes
and play pretend
or pretend to play
for watery dreams
and smokey must-bes
and ought nots
somewhere in line with a broken smile
and a misty sense of senselessness
a spinal cord snapped
so did million daggers shoot out
from each vertebra
tears flooded out of her ears
and smoke forced the air
out of her lungs.
She turned away from the dread
so she could rest her head
on soft shoulders
and yet
none could bear ever the weight
of her sorrow.
Now both lungs dead
eyes closed
lying on her bed
she carries her weight with a finger
and carves out eyes on her forehead
she swallows light to linger
forever in her chest
as a heart
nobody would give her.

The inner child whispers sweet melodies to the soul
Telling the soul to awaken the child drifted back in time
Memories of joyous summer days flying the kites in the wind
Blows a calmness upon the inner child's imagination
The chain of solemnity breaks free from the adolescence conscious
Releasing the inner child
Like a caterpillar transforming in to a butterfly

I want to take one day
To just go out and play
To forget about the grown up ways

To run, jump and romp
Pretend I'm Godzilla and just stomp
Or be a creature from the swamp

Make mud pies let them bake in the sun
Flap my arms like a bird when I run
**** it I just want to have fun

To see the world again trough the eyes of my inner child
When everything left me so beguiled
To see things in that why,has been such a very long while

Innocence left me at age eight
Since then all I've seen is hate
On a scale my misery would be hard to rate

Is it to much to ask for just ONE day
To go out and have some fun and play
Just one single solitaire day without the gray