why you did it
still escapes me
but nothing else matters
now

all that savings
for better lives,
vows and memories
don’t make it any
easier

some kind of relief
or reassurance
would be great,
but i know there’s
nothing you could say
or do to fully
convince me

i hope It has
my nose or eyes,
but surely It has
your voice

… guess we’ll see

sometimes she does not recognise herself
she is not the same person from five years ago
back then, things like innocence were real
infedility was something other women practiced frequenty
other women
disloyal women
not her though

she feels tainted, stained
irrevocably ashamed
marked with a poisionous cheater's kiss
she wants to go back to wedded bliss
she is desperately looking for some way to fix it
to find some sort of reprieve

she stares into the ***** mirror
hearing the whisper of her old friend, Fear
telling her of the art of sabotage
an art she wishes she'd never mastered
what can I say?
vows were made to be obeyed
when she broke those sacred promises
her soul shattered just the same
so when she looks into that mirror
her reflection is a stranger
she wants to be anyone else
not this unfaithful mess of a shell
so she smashes that glass into tiny shards
it's time to move on
time to make a new start

~
There's trouble in Alphaville:

Caution in the taxi, "I am on a journey to the end of the night."

Remember to silence love when sneaking Sally thru the alley.

There's always one too many wives on the same wavelength.

Seeing is believing in the cold ultraviolet light of a long, warm lens.

And naturally "How to Teach Your Wife to Be a Widow" is all checked out at the local library.
~

promises unheeded,

fidelity unspared,

deserted, until rumor of another brings

a squeamish smile, a tearful display,

wordless performance for an audience of one

banker's lamp green light of envy because
she will never be his late office nights
work done beneath sheer illicit thoughts
of her and her blue dress become his flights
of fancy wrapped tightly around her waist
blinds half-drawn the city is invasive
automobile engines and cigarettes
smell of lost love, dust, marriage and regrets
their futures already both faint shadows
on the walls outside the halls are empty
the desk is wet with sweat nobody knows
so they are free how empty they will leave
for homes already broken bittersweet
lives caught on repeat caught on repeat

welcome to the funeral
the funeral of our love
it was a tragic and painful scene
like when a little puppy that comes under a speeding truck
whimpering and crying under all the weight
slowly crushing to it’s end

you don’t want to leave, do you?
all you can say now is that you’re sorry
but how can i stay when i see the casket that lays right in front of me
one that doesn’t even deserve the red roses i loved so much
it wasn’t the roses that were dear to me, it was the feeling of joy that filled me when you gave them to me
“when did it all go so wrong?” you ask
“i don’t know” i say
but it’s a lie. i know exactly when
it died when you spent your hours with her more than you did with me
it died when you laughed on her jokes more than you did on mine
it died when you misused my trust
it died when you kissed her just like you used to kiss me

and here i am, today
visiting the grave again and again
i can’t help myself, can i?
after all, it seems that i’m the only one who mourns our loss