The hardest pill to swallow is knowing
that I did it to myself.
I can try to say that over stated/ cliche line:

"In the end, it was probably
for the best."

but the truth is, that it doesn't help.

My mind cannot help but wander and drift to the thoughts of you.
Your skin illuminated by moonlight.
The way you would hold me close and say goodnight.
The way we laughed and talked about the future.
About how much you were my pride.

I use to find so much peace by the oceanside,
but for the first time in my life I found that same peace
standing right next to me.
You make me feel alive.
My mom said that you were the best for me
because you brought life back to my eyes.

I always hated the city,
but seeing the joy it brought you made me want
to spend every moment I could with you.
The way you would grab my hand and lead me to
all of those special moments that you wanted to share,
and if I could, in a moment I would be right back there.

I took you for granted.

There are no apologies that I could ever pen
to help you to understand how much
I would go back and do everything over again.
I just wish that I could make you see that
you are the only oceanside I need.

If my heart is an anchor, then your heart is the sea;
for my heart longs to be weighed down to yours
for this life and all of
eternity.

tonight i cut an angel,

her heart in my palm beating away. her words echoing in my brain, theyd been there all along, such beautiful soft words, words that mattered, words that cared , words that helped , words that pushed me up and  onwards

tonight i cut an angel,

her trust was as strong as steel in me, even when mine felt soft as yarn, she allways believed and faught for me without sense and without judgment
even when her sword was too dull to cut and too heavy to swing
her armor was so broken there was no point in wearing it,
but she wore it for me

tonight i cut an angel,

she is more beautiful then i deserve,more caring then i thaught possible, but frailer then rice paper.
she will allways love me, even when i hurt her, she would stand and smile and sow the hole in her heart closed again

tonight i cut an angel,

she wanted what was best, she knew what was best, she allways had and allways would, but my heart was beating to fast, my head was to strong. i screamed and faught and squeezed razors into the heart in my palm
tonight i cut an angel.

and now ill pray that to god he will send her back


L.G